For the Mr. Kites

So finals week is finally over and after 2 canceled flights I am finally sitting in front of terminal E1B at Logan airport. Stuff has been kind of crazy lately, especially with the blizzard that descended upon the Northeast this weekend. Boston got 12 inches!!!! And it was relatively mild in our section!! I have to say though, I love waking up the next morning and seeing everything covered in white :)

It's kind of crazy how this semester is over. I know, you UC kids have been home for well over a week and I'm a little late to join you all, but it still hasn't hit me yet!! I wasn't really sure what to expect coming into my sophomore year at BC, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. This semester was extremely up and down, but I don't think I can just attribute it to sophomore slump. I feel like I am in a very transitional stage of my life. I'm slowly starting to figure out what I want to do with myself (very...very slowly...) and what is really important to me. I'm starting to pull away from this concept of home, but at the same time I don't love BC. Of course, I miss home and I generally enjoy my time at BC, but I feel like at the moment I'm caught in the middle, not sure where I really want to be anymore. I don't know.

I'm just kind of confused about almost every part of my life right (minus academics I guess?), so I think it's time to do a little soul searching this month. I'm blindly groping my way through life, but I feel like the more time that passes the clearer things get. I want to choose my own adventure, I want to define my own path. I don't know where I'm going to end up, but I have to say that I'm extremely excited for what's in store.



Things I want to do this break:
-cook more
-run
-dance
-read
-draw
-make money??
-find more interesting things to do in cupertino

Home is so close I can almost taste the delicious La Vic's in my mouth. What is home? A concept that is slowly disappearing. What am I looking forward to?



Without class days, without a structure to the week all the days start to melt together and it all feels the same. We eat, we procrastinate, we work, and occasionally we sleep. Study days, week days, weekends. Why are weekends called that if they're technically the beginning. Study days, weeks days, weekends, week-beginnings are all the same. "Today is going to be a long day" is a sentence that we utter almost everyday but today becomes tomorrow and we're still studying diligently, eyes blurring over as we try to type our 50th page or read the 100th study guide. Today is tomorrow is last thursday is next Sunday....Sunday seems so far away.




Back to work. God is agapic love, and we follow the faith of Christianity by inspiring the Buddha nature within all of us. Correlation coefficients, running t-tests, running from Poseidon and the Charybdis, running. 私はたくさんべんきゅうしました。Stress is relieved by right brain activity, because when you use your right brain your left one shuts off and that's where stress comes from. Stress, psychology, work. Rambling.



Finals aren't really that bad. Real post to come later.

Last year, during most of my many reflections on my college experience, I used to tell myself and others that I didn't think I'd changed much over college. I frowned as I witnessed my friends changing, particularly when they joined the Greek system, and I sighed and told myself that I was above all of that.

It's so easy to pretend you're better than everybody else.


Truthfully. Honestly? College has changed me, and not in a good way. That's not to say that I am overall a worse person now than I was a year and a half ago, but I definitely have to say that overall, I am less happy, in general and with myself. At home, having lived in the same place for 15 years, I was never at a loss for good friends. I always had one person I could talk to about anything, and if I wanted somebody to eat with there was always someone willing to come with. Friends at home understand the entire process of why I am the way I am, because they were there with me when everything happened. They know what to say or what to do to cheer me up, when I am feeling insecure they know how to reassure me. I forgot that these people are hard to come by...I forgot that it's not normal to just click with everybody you meet, and there are so many different types of people that it takes some serious searching to find those that honestly deserve to and are willing to be by your side. But I digress. This is not something that I can overcome with sheer will...This is an issue to be worked on slowly, over time. But I do miss my friends from home.

The real thing that's bothering me is the coastal difference in humor. At home, humor is based on witty puns, on chill jokes and random bizarre things that everybody finds funny. On the east coast, or maybe it's just Boston College, it's based on making fun of everybody else. When I first got here, I was surprised and sometimes offended by the jokes people made. My mind wasn't used to thinking quickly, to jabbing outwards as fast as possible to deflect any jokes made in my direction onto others. Fast forward to a year and a half later. When I hang out in groups, it's all about the insults. It's about who can be wittier, but at the expense of others. My mental censor is almost nonexistent now, and acidic comments drop from my tongue faster than I can realize I've made them. Even though I can say that I wasn't like this before college, that my friends are sucking me into the neverending circle of ridicule, I can't blame my friends for this...You always have a choice!


Sometimes, after I've made a particularly mean comment, something inside me screams "This isn't me!!!" I never said that I couldn't keep up, but I don't want to anymore. I think this is my number one goal for the year. Yes, it's going to be hard keeping my mouth shut when people fling joking (or is it?) insults my way. Yes, it's going to be hard pulling myself out of the circle of revenge that has somehow developed among my friends. Yes, it's going to be hard pushing against change. But I'm tired of constantly being on edge, waiting for the next time I have to throw myself against others. I miss having a real loving bond with my friends, one that isn't overshadowed by how mean we are to each other on a day to day basis. I like taking care of my friends and making them happy, not putting them down. Ha-ha so funny...seems like my two problems might be connected.




So yeah. I'm sorry to the innocent bystanders that I have probably hurt (mostly my friends from home), but I'm working on it. I don't want to be mean anymore :(

I know, it's been forever. My bad. But really, there was nothing that interesting going on. So, now that a lot of kind of interesting things have happened, hopefully i can mash them all together into a semi-interesting point. WOOHOO!

First off, Halloween and my birthday both turned out splendidly, even though they both started off on kind of the wrong foot. I keep telling myself, when things suck the only thing you can do is to do something silly and to make yourself happy...The only person who can always turn things around is yourself! Although really good friends and hot pot and lots of cake help too :) Darn, I also almost escaped getting caked this year, but my friends did not share my sentiments. Overall, a pretty fun 2 weeks.

Okay, I lied. I didn't have enough to say or enough time to blog once a week. However, I now have free time for the first time in about a month, and it feels awesome. I still have a paper due next week, but that's not until Thursday and I'm going to enjoy my weekend while it lasts. This is my favorite part of the year-the changing of the seasons, halloween, my birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, my sister's birthday, and then my mom's birthday all rush together and pass by in a wave. There's so much to look forward to in such a short period of time!!

The thing about free time is that you are left alone with your thoughts. Especially with the game of assassins (spoon tag?) going on around me and everybody clutching their spoons frantically whenever someone Asian walks towards them, somehow places that offer solitude are just more comforting as of late.

"You and I, truth and lies"




I have a lot to say but no way to say them. Blogging is no longer a release because I have to worry about who's reading it and how they will react.

This weekend was a much needed break from reality; S and Y both visited, and there were lots of memories created, some of which aren't remembered haha. Time is absolutely flying by though...this year even more so than last year. Although as all the upperclassmen tell me, time only keeps going faster after this. It's back to work though, I've got to be on top of my stuff this week if I want to have a worry free weekend in New York later.

The weather is changing again. The leaves barely had a chance to turn red before rain moved in over Chesnut Hill, MA and the temperature drops around 20 to 30 degrees with the sunset. However, I have to say...despite how much I complain I absolutely love the rain. I love waking up to the sound of raindrops on the roof, I love the way the world takes on a hue of gray, I love splashing through puddles with my indestructible rainboots. I like the idea of how the world is being washed clean...I think my favorite thing to do on rainy days is to curl up somewhere comfortable (a bed preferably) next to a window and watch the rain as I read. A hot beverage is appreciated, but not necessary. With the puddles forming and flowing over outside, I feel a lot more peaceful and content and this is never something I could complain about.

What is love? Ever since I started taking Health Psychology, I find myself coming back to the question, thinking about it even when I don't need to. I find myself frustrated over this question, because I am unable to answer it and yet I am so sure that I know what it is. A lack of eloquence, I suppose. Love is a concept surely, love is blind, love is rewarding and love is kind. Love is something you're supposed to feel in your gut and in your soul and when you know, you know. Love is when you want the absolute best for the object of your affections and you want to help them get there with no expectations for reward because when they're happy, you are too. Love is when you would do anything for them, because you trust them and know that they would never take more than you could give. I don't know...how do you describe a feeling?



Post definitely to be continued...for the meantime im going to sing my heart out and attempt to play piano :)

This blogging once a week thing is a lot harder than it seems haha. Sometimes it's that I have nothing to say, sometimes it's that I don't have the time or the right words to say what I want to say, but I'm trying!

Things are still ridiculously busy, and I don't think I am going to get a break anytime soon. Even the weekends are fraught with performances and meetings, and all free time is devoted to slogging through mounds of work so that I'm not behind the next day or week. I'm not saying that everything I'm doing isn't worth it, but it kind of feels that way. I haven't had a good day to myself for doing nothing in awhile, or even just a few hours of hanging out with a friend with no second agenda (making it out to an event, studying together, etc.) I'm not overloaded, but I feel like I'm right at the tipping point and at any moment I could fall over the other side. I'm trying really hard and succeeding in getting at least 8 hours of sleep a day, attending all the events I can, finishing all my work for the next day early, not procrastinating, and still making time for practice, but I'm scared shitless of the day I can't stay on top of it anymore. The next 3 weeks will include: a trip to New York, my sister visiting, S visiting, multiple CSA and other events, a lot of meetings (with teachers and otherwise), my parents visiting, 2 papers, 3 midterms, 2 tests and 2 quizzes. It looks like Halloween will be the first weekend I can really relax, but not even really...there's a paper due the Thursday after...So maybe my birthday? SORRY, this kind of just turned into a to-do list for the next month, but I need to write it down somewhere haha.



Okay, my brain is really scattered and I can't think of any cohesive idea which would make for a non-boring paragraph, so here is the sum of my thoughts:

• HMMM. Also need to find a Halloween costume....any ideas?? Something not too expensive/hard to put together, preferably :)
• as it turns out, earphones are actually more needed in my daily life than an ipod itself...hopefully I'll get both soon
• I NEED A JOB :(
• It's been kind of hard falling asleep again...I'm not even thinking about anything important, just like dance moves or my outfit the next day....SUCKS.
• I'm actually kind of losing weight this year because I don't have time to eat
• Kleerup ft. Lykke Li- Until We Bleed is my new favorite song...I noticed I have a tendency to like artists out of Sweden
• Being a girl sucks...never know if I'm actually feeling something or if it's just my hormones driving me crazy.

HMMMM. That's about it. Topics for next time: mixing friends with work, being yourself in a new environment. I'm just waiting for time to pass...

"Back to you, it always comes, back to you...Doesn't it scare you, your will is not as strong as it, used to be"

This year, I really tried to develop a gung-ho attitude about life, and so far it's working. Of course I kind of ran out of steam over the weekend and I am definitely still overcome by the urge to just fuck around and do nothing, the fact is I have enough on my plate this year that my guilt and obligations manage to banish the slothiness after a couple hours at the most. Life is almost exactly the way I envisioned it to be this year, minus a job, but it's nice seeing all my plans in effect. Here are a couple of things I've been thinking about the past week...

The Religious Quest has been redefining everything that I thought I knew about buddhism. When I participated in a Buddhist youth group (Tzu-Chi, for all those asians out there who have probably heard of it), we were taught to have compassion and kindness and to help others, supplemented by monthly volunteer service. Of course, elementary school kids could not be expected to grasp the finer points of Buddhism, but growing up if I had to label myself religiously it would always be as a Buddhist. However, the more time that passes since those childhood lessons, the more I have started to question my own beliefs. More recently, the first doctrine of Mahayana Buddhism (similar to Zen Buddhism) is the wisdom of emptiness. Unlike the first form of Buddhism that we studied (Theravada Buddhism), they do not stress the impermanence of all things. Rather, they look past the impermanence of these things to address the fact that the way we perceive things is simply a projection of our own egos/selves, and that everything is a composite of smaller things that are constantly changing, and thus things are not just impermanent, but rather that they do not "exist" as we think of them at all. Confusing, right? I guess I am just not quite ready yet to accept that nothing that we think we know actually exists, because this also somewhat seems to me to mean that there is no purpose to life...which maybe there isn't but if that's true then I'd like to create one. Okay...sorry that was probably confusing.

On a somewhat related note, my health psycholoogy and Buddhism class have strangely been somewhat similar. Buddhism is all about finding your inner tranquility and looking for Nirvana. On the other hand, my cute little health psychology teacher has been discussing how today's society tell us that we CAN have it all, but if we keep trying to take it all we will eventually run our body's into the ground and run out of our élan vital, that is to say our life force. He also stresses the importance of compassion and letting things go, and he begins each class by asking us "What is the meaning of love?". The discussions that ensue are thought-provoking and always applicable to real life...I love this class. Anyway, I was going to write out my entire thought process but more pressing things are calling (first midterm of the year tomorrow! Stats :() so I'll just say this: New motto of the year = address problem, chill out, let it go, and move on HAPPILY :)

Also, on a scarier note, I've started figure out my life (GASP). After being hit with hardcore insomnia last night, I decided that if tossing and turning in bed for two hours wasn't going to let me fall asleep, then maybe getting up and planning out my life would. I talked with a really helpful professor today, and I think as of now I want to continue in my psychology major while minoring in Asian American Studies, hopefully taking writing and art courses on the side and going abroad to Japan next year. If possible/if I get accepted, I'd like to complete the BA/MA program here too, which would also give me a masters after staying at BC for a fifth year.


I keep wanting to write a really lofty metaphorical and symbolic post, but not sure what constitutes as comprehensible, or okay for a public blog lol. However, more to come on my thoughts on mixing friends with work.

[Note: I started this post a week or two ago but I seriously just have never had time to finish it....I'm trying!!!] School has started and things are geting more than a little crazy already. I ended up getting the exact schedule that I wanted so I shouldn't complain, but basically the only things I have time for are work, dance, CSA, and sleep. A quick rundown of what's going on in my life:

Japanese: My teacher is a tiny cute little Asian woman, albeit with ADD and maybe a little crazy. But we like them a little crazy. Lots of friends in the class, I'm really interested in Japanese and I need to practice more so that my characters don't look like random scribbles. I'm excited for this class! I love learning new languages :)

Stats: Yeah...not much to say about this. As much as I like math, stats is something different completely. Our teacher is really enthusiastic and I have a few friends in this class too, so it's not too bad, but then again, it's stats. If I didn't have to take this for my major I definitely wouldn't haha.

Classical Mythology: I absolutely love mythology. One of the first books we had at home when I was young (other than children's picture books and a slew of historical fiction....I know we're strange) was a big blue book on Greek mythology. I never had a chance to fit Mythology into my schedule in high school, so I'm really excited to take it now. Our teacher is really nice and funny and I love her already :) Also, she brings her dog to office hours which is basically awesome. This class is living up to my expectations, and I'm really excited for the rest of the semester...even for the two 6-page papers coming up. Her sample essay topics sound so interesting!

Religious Quest: This was the last class in my schedule to fall in place. BC, being a Jesuit school, has a theology requirement and the Religious Quest sounds like the most interesting. As a comparative theology class, my section is comparing Buddhism (which I really like) and Christianity (which is unavoidable). My teacher is a lama (as in Dalai lama, not the animal like a lot of other people thought) and he really knows what he's talking about, but he kind of has a soothing sleepy voice haha. I really enjoy the content in this class, and the readings are actually stirring deep thinkings regarding my own beliefs in Buddhism, whether or not I agree, and my own interactions with life. More on this later..

Health Psych: Another fun old little man teaching this class. Although I originally wanted to take Adolescent Psychology, apparently that class requires 15 hours of volunteer service a semester and I unfortunately don't have that kind of time this year. I ended up signing up for health psych at the urging of a friend, and seeing as how it first nicely into my schedule and it's about the psychology of stress (something I can use this year), I thought why not. This is actually a really interesting class...the professor works at the Cambridge and MIT medical centers and he supplements his lectures with little anecdotes from his own experiences. The class doesn't even feel like two hours! Again, probably more on this later on in the semester.

CSA: So e-board is off with a bang, and I love it. Again, it helps that I actually enjoy the company of everybody on my board and despite the fact that I see these 8 other people 24/7, I am still not annoyed at anybody. Even though this is sucking all of my time, seeing the results of all of our efforts is so satisfying!!! I guess in the end triapsing all the way to Newton and Upper to knock on the doors of 140 freshmen was totally worth it...even if they thought we were creepy for knowing where they live (WHICH WE'RE NOT...anybody can find where you live by looking on the BC directory :D). And as chaotic as setting up for the first general meeting was, with only 3 members of our eboard available at a time to fry 400 dumpling and carry a billion things to the room as well as the problem with the room rec, so many people turned up and people actually laughed at our really awkward/creepy video, which was extremely gratifying. There's so much going on even within the next month that I am looking forward to, especially finally adding the last 4 members of our e-board, the 4 freshmen reps that we're picking at the end of the month. I'm excited for all that we can accomplish as student leaders and more :)

Conspiracy Theory: I'm trying my best to dance as much as possible, but after the crazyness that was last week along with my newly-lost ipod (FAIL...:( so sad.), I haven't gotten that many chances. Hopefully that will change this week though!! I tend to be in a worse average mood when I'm not dancing, and plus I want to get ridiculous at waacking. There was a jam last weekend on campus which was really fun to watch and just to be there in the vibe with a bunch of dancers. The popping battles were sick, the bboys did unearthly gravtiy-defying tricks and overrall it was a success, even with the minor dramz that went down behind the scenes.


So the first week of school was amazing but the second week so much. Just a slew of bad luck (or bad karma I guess..harhar) that included lots of lost things, immaterial and not, a car crash (everybody involved is okay, but both cars are no longer driveable), getting lost (kind of) and a severe lack of sleep that just made everything that much worse. However, the weekend was mostly fun, and nobody can watch Cirque du Soleil and stay in a bad mood :). Also, Regina Spektor last night was absolutely amazing...she sounds better live than on her CDs (if that was possible) and she's so funny and sweet and slightly awkward.

It's a new week and I'm trying to stay on top of my stuff and keep my head up... Nothing's perfect (definitely including me) and I'm trying hard to fix things. After all, all the effort we put into our relationships with other people and the world shouldn't be for nothing, and nobody should have to go through life alone and disliking where they have ended up. Wish me luck!

2 full weeks into the school year, I certainly do owe a lengthy back-to-school reflection and what not, but I have absolutely no time on my hands and certain events seem to be sapping my energy from me faster than I can refill it.

I was supposed to keep on this stringy old bracelet until Boston felt like home, and over the past couple of weeks I have seriously contemplated it, but things just kept happening that would change my mind. With the events of the weekend I took it off...not because it had finally happened but rather because I was tired of seeing it on my wrist and knowing that it hadn't. For now I keep it safe in a less conspicuous place in the hopes that if it's supposed to happen it will.

This weekend was so much fun, an escape from the real world. Fantasy worlds are fun but when the show's over dreams are still only dreams...Back to real life I go. about 9 hours agoFantasy worlds are fun but when the show's over dreams are still only dreams...despite how real they actually feel. On the bus back I was just wishing that the ride would somehow become longer, because getting back to Boston meant getting back to everything that had happened before I left. Things will pass but I don't want to wait for it to do so. Back to real life I go.....

Sorry, I know it's been awhile. I haven't posted for several reasons: nothing interesting has happened, I've been somewhat busy saying bye to people, and of course I'm just kind of lazy heh. But with 4 days left until I'm flying back to Boston, I find myself trying to pass the time in any way before I'm back at school. By some strange twist of fate, in such a UC-dominated environment, somehow almost all of my close friends attend semester schools and due to some ticket fiasco, I'm not moving back in BC until 4 days after all of my rest of my friends there. It sucks to be the left behind.

My friends already at school are making a valiant effort to keep in touch I'm sure, but it's not the same. People, including myself, are already slipping back into their school modes and running out of time, conversations end awkwardly and I'm left in little old cupertino missing them while they surely have no time to miss me. Things are changing again and I just can't believe that after fun-filled 4 months I forgot that they would. I know everything will be okay, but I guess I'm just in that awkward limbo state where I'm being left behind but I can't dive head-first into my own busy school life yet either. Darn it, should've bought plane tickets for today instead -_____- I won't be making that mistake twice.

In other news, Hawaii was beautiful and extremely fun. Aside from some minor problems borne out of suddenly spending so much time with the family, it was 6 days full of bliss and beaches. We were on the Big Island this time, which is about the size of Conneticut but only has 300,000 inhabitants compared with 3 million in that East coast state. It is very undeveloped, full of lush tropical jungles and valleys and state-protected spreads of land. We went horseback riding, snorkeling at night with manta rays, on a helicopter ride around the island and up the tallest mountain in the world, Mauna Kea, the big island's resident largest volcano. Mauna Kea is the world's best side for stargazing, and I have seriously never seen so many stars before. There seemed to be more stars than sky, and the Milky Way and Jupiter were clearly in the sky. Breathtaking...I love stars. Snorkeling with manta rays at night was also amazing. We rode out on a boat at sunset to some bay unreachable by land, and there were huge lights in the ocean put there to attract plankton, which in turn attracted manta rays. These things were 16 feet across, almost bigger than our boat, doing flips and feeding on plankton maybe a foot below us. Some snorkelers even accidentally kicked them while paddling in the water (:(!!!!) Although the first sighting is a little terrifying with their size and their giant gaping mouths coming at you and whatnot, after the initial shock its nice to just float there and appreciate these giant creatures for what they are. Underwater pictures are to be developed...to be seen on my facebook!


An update on my culinary adventures....recently I attempted a cheesecake topped with a strawberry glaze and fresh strawberries. I am quite pleased to say that it was a huge success. My dad, the cheesecake lover and the reason I made it, highly approved. My mom loved the crust and even my sister, who doesn't really like cheesecake, was wishing there was still a piece left a couple nights later when she was looking for snacks...heh. My friends also highly enjoyed it when I brought it to a gathering...What should i cook next!??!

Also, for the first time in my entire 18 almost 19 years of life, I got a bad haircut. Okay, a couple hours after the matter it's not THAT bad...in fact I think I'd be completely fine with it if my bangs were past my eyebrows, but alas it is not to be sigh. Before, I could not even come close to understanding girls who cry after a haircut, but now I empathize at least. SIGHHH. I guess it was coming sometime, but I was hoping my luck would hold out...my entire life LOL. Ahh welll....good thing my hair grows super fast...things should be okay in a week or two I hope!

HMMMM. Not much left to say, I need to dance and pack and go back to school! And also, I have fallen in loooove with Little Boots. Her electropop is fantastic.

I know, I know, I fail. I haven't blogged in almost 3 weeks, aka FOREVER. Nothing too ridiculous has really been happening since I've gotten back from the East Coast; Cupertino is what it is, and that is lazy and sunny. I've talked about this with a couple people since I've been back, and living in California makes it SO hard to LEAVE! The perpetually beautiful skies are so tempting, and I kind of just want to laze around and not do anything, ever.

However, fun and exciting things have been happening. My good friend K from BC visited the past weekend, taking a vacation from her lovely hometown of Omaha, NE (HEHE). I took her to all the typical CA things and then some. We went to the beach, got a lot of pearl milk tea (VERDE FTW), yogurt, drunk karaoke-ing, a birthday party, swimming, and basically hit up every food place around here that deserves a visit (La Vic's, In-n-Out, Vivi's, Korean BBQ). On Monday I took her to San Francisco for some shopping and dinner at the Fisherman's Wharf. She wanted seafood and we went to this lovely place called Cioppino's which was rather delicious. Walking back to our car, she was BLESSED with a hilarious encounter with the SF BUSH MAN!!!

For those who do not live in California or who have not heard of this fantastic man, he is a fixture in San Francisco much like the Naked Cowboy in New York's Time Square. Holding and hiding behind a few rather large braches of trees, he waits on the sidewalk, sometimes near trash cans (as in K's case) and jumps out at unwitting tourists, scaring the bejeesus out of him. This being my first time seeing him, and also due to the fact that K does not react well to surprises and loud noises, I would say that she entertained basically everybody walking within a 20 foot radius of us.

A lovely end to a fun California visit I would say :) I was sad to see K go when I dropped her off at the airport, but after all school does start in less than a month so no complaining for me. I'm going to Hawaii with the family next Tuesday as well, so there's really not much time left in our 4 month summer. My good friends either haven't been around all summer or are just about to head back to school, and my thoughts are turning towards the upcoming year more often than not. I'm already getting at least 2 CSA emails a day, and things are starting to pick up! I am very excited :)

In other news, I bought this amazing leather jacket in SF :) I know I said I wasn't going to spend any more money after my shopping spree in New York and Boston, but this is an item that I've been looking for for a LONG time and I will cherish it completely. Also, I have realized that a job next year is pretty much going to become necessary, especially with all the shows that I want to see in the upcoming year. This semester I'll be watching Cirque du Soleil's Alegria at UMass, and a couple of days after that is Regina Spektor at the House of Blues. In October there's hopefully a road trip to New York to catch Chromeo, and maybe Justice later in the month? So many fun events coming up!

One last thing: I need new music!! Any suggestions?? I really listen to anything so....Send me suggestions!!!

So back in little old Cupertino, and enjoying the beautiful sunny days...Sorry East Coast I had to take the sun back with me :P The last week of my vacation was quite eventful...I resolved some blaring issues, spent a good deal of money and visited my sister for the first time in Providence, as well as taking my first trip to the Hamptons where her friend had a lake house. First off, Montauk is breathtakingly beautiful....unfortunately I forgot my camera in Boston during our time at the lake and thus have no pictures of my own, but here are some stolen from my sister :)


The view from my window when I woke up every morning

We ended up taking two ferries and a bus back to Providence which was a little more expensive, but after our trip to Montauk I can definitely say I hate Greyhound, so it was totally worth it. Plus, the ferries stopped at more amazing islands and ports such as Block Island...Picture below


Gorgeous!! I definitely want to come back here to vacation some day and rent mopeds :)

I was talking about this with my sister on our enjoyable boat ride, but after coming to the East Coast I can really understand how some of my friends say they would never want to live anywhere else. Who can deny the allure of summer beach houses in the Hamptons and ski cabins in Vermont and the like? California is wonderfully lazy and chill in it's own right, but while I'm young and able-bodied I definitely want to travel and live somewhere a little more fast-paced..aka the East Coast. I really do love the city of Boston now, and I can see myself staying around for at least a couple of years after I graduate.

Also, after visiting the East Coast I have been invigorated by the ultimate desire to do a lot of things, including to learn how to cook, and cook well. Regardless of the fact that I won't have a kitchen next year, I believe this is a useful (and if I might say, quite impressive) skill...Also I've always loved to bake and cook breakfast, as long as I had the time. I have decided to expand my repertoire to include a wide variety of dishes :) I figured out a new delicious breakfast sandwich, and also cooked dinner for my family which was quite a success as well. I'm so pleased with the results!! More pictures are on my facebook, if you care to see, but here is my favorite dish from the night...Beef & tofu lettuce cups:


YUMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Next up on my list of things to cook are cheesecake and white sauce/seafood pastas for my Dad hehe. The problem with cooking is I guess mainly finding somebody to eat my food haha....I have a small stomach, unfortunately. Another thing I want to change is my waking up at 2 PM everyday. I am fully utilizing my 3 hour jetlag to get up before 10:30 everyday and so far it's kind of working...I now have time to make breakfast as well as be productive and such :)

Also, started dancing again...Class yesterday was a little disappointing, as it was my 3rd failed attempt at taking class with a certain teacher and hip hop was also a little lacking. I guess for hip hop you really need to go to the big urban cities to get the full experience? After taking class in New York and watching everybody in Boston, hip hop class in a little town doesn't seem that exciting haha. I might start driving up to SF to take class from Funkonometry or what not, but I guess we'll see how that goes. I realized that I really do want to keep dancing...maybe even after college? I'm thinking about joining a company or a dance group...contemporary or hip hop are both fine with me, as well as getting more involved with Conspiracy/Bulletproof Theory (BC's bboy crew...although I'm waacking it's still the same group :P) while I'm still in school. All I need is time!!! hahah

I guess one of the reasons that I've been thinking so far ahead about so many things I want to accomplish is because my all of my friends who just graduated are getting their lives sorted out, and in a sense are finally starting real life. They are all amazing interesting people who are doing amazing interesting things despite whatever their majors are. This ranges from cooking school to completing their master's on a full scholarship at one of the best universities in China to going full time as a photographer or getting into Parson's....basically they are all accomplishing the things they wanted to do and succeeding while still managing to do the things that they love. I can only hope that in 3 years when I am in their shoes I have achieved half of the things that they have.

In other less happy news, I've been feeling kind of down for multiple reasons which I wish I could write about, but can't due to various reasons. Things are changing in a lot of ways....The ones that are going in the direction I want still make me sad when I think about how nothing is the same, and the ones that aren't upset me even more. Why is it that even when we get what we want we still feel pangs of nostalgia, so that despite the fact that we won, we still aren't happy? This isn't the first time I've felt like this, and neither will it be the last, but I wish it would stop happening. Just being selfish, I suppose.

Enough with the pity party, apparently my blog is too emo harhar. Lots of fun things planned in the month before summer ends....Lots of people's birthdays, catching up with people I haven't seen in FOREVER, MAYBE skydiving on Sunday, staying with D in SF for a night, K is coming to visit me beginning of August, and then trip to Hawaii with the fam. Time is FLYING by!!

A lot of things on my mind recently....I'm back in Boston for a couple of days and everybody around me is studying for something (MCATs, LSATs, etc.) and I'm feeling pretty unproductive around them, so I suppose I'll blog and feel mildly intelligent for a bit. Topics I want to cover: passive aggression, the downside of living on two coasts, thoughts about next year.

Okay so we decided to go watch Bruno on my last night in New York (how did I get tricked into doing this...I have no idea) and the theater was huge, with nice comfy seats that kinda bounced and sank down when you sat down in them. When I sat down the rather overweight lady behind me starting complaining about how my seat hit her knees but seeing as how I couldn't really do anything about it except not sit there, I didn't say anything. Throughout the movie she kept kicking the back of my chair in bursts, which I naturally assumed was an accident, but towards the end, when there were maybe 10 minutes left, she abruptly swore and leaned forward and angrily asked me to put my feet down, which of course I did promptly. I guess maybe my feet were blocking her view? I'm still not quite sure, maybe she just really dislikes people who put there feet up. But seriously, what a display of passive aggression...so ridiculous. I really don't understand why she didn't just ask me to put my feet down to begin with?? I don't know I can't say that I'm a very passive aggressive person, so maybe it's just really satisfying to kick seats instead of watching a movie in peace? But yeah...people are strange.

So just when I thought that I was making life on two coasts make sense, not so much. This weekend there were a ridiculous number of things going on...obviously I could only pick one thing to do, and it turned out very very fun :) Unexpected fun is so fun!!! And so satisfying. And also no hangover a bowl of pho the next day won't cure heh. I had a fantastic time, and yet when I hear about all the shenanigans my friends at home are getting into, I wish I was there too...I feel like I am doomed to this feeling of always missing out on something. I hope that this feeling goes away, because it would really suck to be forever dissatisfied with what I have. But I'm not!! I'm not dissatisfied!! How to stop *________*

Hanging out with BC people again, I am getting super super excited for the upcoming school year. As I read on her blog, C definitely had it right. Freshman year was too ridiculous and I felt all over the place...sophomore year I know what I want to do and I know what I have to do to achieve those goals, and I am SO EXCITED!! Now it's just a matter of time...I have culture show to think about, school, I'm researching in a psych lab, and I'm thinking about either joining a dance group or getting a job. Unfortunately, I do have to pick :/ I wish I could do both!!


Okay, running out of things to say. Everybody is studying so hard :X and I'm just waiting for the pizza to get here hehe. One last thing...I LOVE 80s MUSIC.

So the last two weeks have been REALLY REALLY ridiculous....I managed to escape some chaos at home with my pre-planned trip to the east coast, but I guess the crazy followed me harhar. As did the sun! So I suppose that makes up for it :) I hope all the east-coasters are appreciating the tiny bit of sun after a month of straight rain...I KNOW I AM hehe.

Okay so my trip has been ridiculous amounts of fun....It's been a LOT of fun seeing everybody in Boston, since so many people stayed behind for work and class. It's kind of weird, I didn't realize how much I'd missed everybody :) I guess I'm slowly starting to learn how to reconcile my different lives on the two coasts. I also met up with B & T, which was nice since we haven't talked or caught up in awhile. The area around Harvard is super nice and cute! I'm really jealous that most colleges have a type of plaza or student area for the kids to hang out at...BC is severely lacking in that area unfortunately :/ The rest of my nights in Boston were just the usual, and of course beer pong :)

So an unexpected turn of events led me to the New Jersey/New York area a couple days ahead of schedule, but it's been really fun so far :) Visited the Museum of Sex which was very interesting, and been eating at exciting fun (and somewhat famous) places. ALSO, I took two hip hop classes, BOTH of which I enjoyed VERY MUCH. I really love to dance, I can't believe I let myself not dance for a year when I went off to Boston....RIDICULOUS!! The first class was just a normal hip hop class with pretty fun choreography, but the second workshop I took was AMAZINGGGG. If you guys have not heard of/seen Kyle Hanagami and Ellen Kim dance, you guys are SERIOUSLY missing out. They are two amazing dancers/choreographers from SF who started their own group called The Lost Kids, and basically yeah I love them. Kyle Hanagami taught us a piece to Adele-Hometown Glory, and even though I usually REALLY dislike this new lyrical hip-hop trend, his choreo was fantastic. I realized that the reason I don't like lyrical hip hop is because unless it's done really well, it just looks bizarre and the moves don't match the music. However, in the right hands....it brings a whole new meaning to dance.

Anyway, here's a clip of one of my favorite dances that Ellen and Kyle did together...when footage of the dance I learned from Kyle is uploaded, I'll post that up too :)




Also EXCITING NEWS! I basically got like almost a foot of hair chopped off my head. This was something that popped into my head the week before I left for the east coast and yeah...I am actually really really glad that I decided to go through with it. After everything that's happened, I was definitely ready for a change. I am really really pleased with the results and yeah...HEHE.



Ummm yeah that's about all that's exciting that's happened in my life :) After my stay in New York I might be heading back to Boston for a couple of days to see L who just got back from China, and then to Providence to visit my sister...YAY! FUN TIMES FULL STEAM AHEAD!!

"Time, you can't see it you can't hear it, you can't weigh it or measure it in a laboratory. It is a seductive sense of becoming what we are, instead of what we were a nanosecond ago, becoming what we will be in another nanosecond. This whole entire landscape existing before and behind us and we move through it, slice by slice."

It's so easy to get carried away in your own life that you forget that everything you do has real consequences. Sometimes it takes getting into real trouble to realize that we all have a lot of growing up to do. I don't know what to say about the past two days except that I'm glad it's over. Slice by slice, I'm trying to move through it.



I don't think things will be the same anymore.

It is currently almost 3:30 in the morning, and for once, it is not thanks to my friends nor a book nor any type of controlled substance that I am still awake. This time, it is all me.

I don't quite know why or why now my insomnia has returned, only that it is back with a vengeance and despite the fact that I have been yawning for hours, when I close my eyes in anticipation of sweet sweet sleep all I end up doing is thrashing about in my too-hot blanket as I think about how uncomfortable it is that my shirt is riding up. I love to sleep...so why can't I?

My giant white flower. It looks like a huge gardenia! I was told. It was snapped off its branch too long ago, the edges of its petals are turning brown, and I am sad. At 3:33 AM, life seems to be a lot simpler than it usually presents itself. My five bouncy balls, one of each color lined up in the order of the rainbow, make me happy just looking at them. Souvenirs from my adventures today.

I am currently reading A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, and although it is a good book as I read it I can't help but wonder which parts are real and which parts are made up and whether or not that really matters.


Is what happens to us real, or how we perceive it?

It is currently 6:25 AM, and the only ones awake are a few wide-eyed warriors and maybe a couple of friends on the East coast waking up for work and internships. I myself am not quite sure why I am conscious...I left my two favorite As at around 1 AM, assuming that I would play a few rounds of omgpop and then head to bed. But alas, I picked up a book, marked by a dog-eared page about halfway through its creamy pages and I was hooked, again, so strangely, as I always have been.

It is hard to describe the type of effect that an engaging book has over me and my mood, and even harder to not make it sound obsessive, or even unhealthy almost. The moment I start in on a book that manages to capture my interest, and this is not a terribly difficult thing to accomplish, I can barely stand to put it down. I do not know how else to say it besides that it feels like a mood settles over me, like storm clouds separating me from the outside world. I become quiet, sometimes sullen, and anything that makes me have to set aside my fictional world is generally not too kindly received. Friends around me notice, and I have no explanation to give them other than that "I feel weird today". But I know what causes these moods, and what can get rid of them. It is only when I have bulldozed through the hundreds of pages that had lain innocently before me do I arise from this almost catatonic state, shaking it off as I stand up as if coming out of a daze.

This might sound strange, in a generation that much prefers video games and the Internet to print, but this happened to me even when I was small. Gleefully coming back from the library with a bag full of books, I would retreat to the nearest comfortable spot as my family would warn me to finish my homework before I started reading. My sister and I were scolded for reading in the car, at the dinner table, while company was over, any time that we could sneak in a couple more words. At night I hid under my covers, overheating and suffocating under my blankets as my slightly sweaty fingertips awkwardly manned a flashlight and attempted to turn page after creamy page. I devoured characters, stories, and entire worlds, never being able to get enough, even if I had run out of pages to turn. Truly, can I really call it a love of reading? While certainly I have come across such well-written passages and plotlines that I had to stop and reread them, in awe of the author's abilities to wind together letters and words, in truth it all comes down to my overwhelming desire to find out what happens next.

Being a hermit, detached from the real world in all senses does not seem particularly healthy to me, and yet I am unable to stop. This summer, the abundance of time on my hands has led me to the library, and once again I find myself more often than not curled up with a book, reading at ungodly hours that are meant for other things; sleep, dinner, spending time with friends. Such a curious thing to ponder after reading for 4 hours, and I guess it is interesting enough for me to forsake whatever other 5 or 6 hours of sleep that I could have snatched before it would actually be ridiculously lazy for me not to wake up. My head is pounding and I am quite aware that I should be in bed, but with the strange California sun tempting me through the untimely June clouds, attempting to sleep seems out of the question for now. At least I am satisfied, finally knowing the fate of that other Boleyn girl....at least until I begin the process again diving into pages bound between the most inviting blue covers.

So coming home, I knew I had 4 long months ahead of me, filled with nothing to do except a trip here or there and maybe a job. SO, I've set my mind to being productive this summer. After giving myself a week or two to do absolutely nothing, I've been trying to set my plan into motion this summer. So far I think I'm succeeding!! I've made a trip to the library (and started reading for leisure again..something I sorely miss), gone biking with friends, gone running, started working, and started singing again. Now I just need to keep these things going and start dancing and writing again too and I'll be all set. Accomplishing things makes me more satisfied than anything :)

I don't know what it is, but this summer I've been gravitating more towards simple pleasures. Sure, I still have the urge to get trashed and have drunken adventures, but for some reason it's just not the same as those booze-filled nights in college. Maybe it's because I got written up, maybe it's being I got tired of being hungover until 9 PM the next day, but whatever the reason I'm not complaining. Good wholesome fun might be hard to find, but it's there. When did we forget??

Life feels like one great circle. Like I was talking to A about, we had our happy childhoods, and then that age where everything was immature and the dumbest things were hilarious (YO MOMMA), and then all of a sudden we had to grow up. We tried so hard to be too cool and too popular for that stupid stuff, and pretended to be mature and sexy and classy. And finally, now that we've grown up, I've realized that the stupid shit IS funny. It doesn't matter anymore who was popular and attractive in high school, the world is so much bigger than our home towns that honestly, we can do whatever the fuck we want (superhero nerd anyone?) and there will be a group of friends waiting for us out there who love doing the exact same things. That's-what-she-said jokes are hilarious again, and I love it. Maybe when we're senile, we'll be just as happy as when we were kids.

I don't know how or when I first thought of this theory, but this is the first time it's really been a concrete idea (oxymoron!) to me, much less said anything about it. When we are kids, we view the entire world in wonder, and therefore are extremely easily amused. This persists until we get to the age where we THINK we know everything, but what's wrong with being easily amused?? For one thing, life is much more fun, and the world retains a sort of mystical sense that I am completely okay with. Why take away your own excitement??

When did we forget this?? When did we move away from creating our own fun to turn towards alcohol, sex, and drugs?? If that was called growing up, then I'm ready to grow down again. Suddenly, those things that had entertained me so much during high school and my freshmen year of college are unappealing. I want to play in the sun, go biking and running, shoot hoops with friends and roll around in the grass. Dressing up is fun, but my outfit of choice recently has been a comfortable plain tank or tee and running shorts....so comfortable :) I want to do things like get ice cream and watch UP (which by the way was fantastic...more on that later) and play with my dog. I love giving myself so much to look forward too...I am very excited for the rest of summer <3

Also, on a more random note, I didn't realize this until lately but somehow, I follow sports now. It started with college football, most obviously since I now have a stake in a team (my own hehe), and then I found myself watching the world series online as I did my homework and secretly snickering when the Red Sox lost (DON'T KILL ME). Then basketball summer, and I found myself tuning into every game of the playoffs and being disappointed if I had to leave before the end of the game. Somehow, I now watch sports. WTF? Who would've thought?? I have to say though, the playoffs were rather disappointing. First of all, Celtics weren't even in, Lakers won, and then the Cavaliers disappointed me. SIGH. Should I even bother watching the finals?!?!? I guess if anything, I'm rooting for the Magics. I'm even starting to pick my favorite teams and players...hehe. What a most interesting development!!!

I finally watched Up last night after failing once before (sold out...) and it far exceeded my already high expectations. I don't know how Pixar does it, but they have yet to disappoint me. Their awesome computer graphics skill combined with the classic Disney life lessons hidden in a heart-wrenching but humorous movie left me wanting to watch it just one more time. Although it was a little more adult than I would expect from a Disney movie, that just made it all the better I think. Disney/Pixar's attention to even the smallest details show through, and the care they took in creating this amazing movie certainly paid off. I highly recommend this to anybody and everybody, regardless of age or gender or anything else. Guys, go watch it with a girl and pretend they made you go with them. It is seriously that worth it. I know I'll be buying the DVD for this film the moment it hits the shelves.



Until next time!! Think about growing down :)

I am sorry my lovelies, I am long past overdue for an update. It's been a hectice 21 days since I last posted, so please bear with me as I recount my adventures :) Those that I can remember, that is. Hmmm just so I don't forget, here's a list of things I want to write about this time.

1. Finals/Academics
2. Senior Week/Graduation
3. Being a kid
4. Coming home

Hmm..on second thought I don't know if I'm going to finish this in one sitting. Heheh...may be to be continued :)

So first of all, I pretty much got owned by all my classes this semester. 2 classes that I thought I was doing okay in (as in, could get an A-) were informally curved, and I ended up with a B in both classes. Fail. I also definitely should've gone to class more and studied more...but now I know right?? On the bright side, I'm really glad I am currently majoring in psychology...I'm already a step ahead of a lot of my friends who picked premed or business or econ and are finding out that they absolutely hate the stuff and are now considering psychology and etc. Yay for me :) And I really do find the material super interesting and reading the textbooks goes a lot more quickly than say, history. I hate history. On another bright side I am done with history and math FOREVERR....minus having to take stats for psych next year. But that's a different story :)

So I decided to stay for senior week and graduation, so although my last final was on the 11th, I didn't land in SFO until the 19th. I'm really glad I stayed-I became really close to quite a few of the seniors, and I'm glad I got to spend as much time as possible with them before they disappear forever into the real world (harhar). I went to my friend's art show, watched STAR TREK (which is amazing by the way...watching it again with my family soon ^____^), had dinner with a very interesting professor (???), got lots of food, played lots of pong. Below is my favorite painting from the show, my friend's painting of me, and another painting he did that I love :)







So basically second semester, I pretty much decided to just say FUCK IT to everything, and for once I acted completely my age. I started drinking and partying a lot, and looking back now I know it got a bit (maybe more than a bit) out of hand. My academics suffered, my body suffered (sorry body!!) and I'm lucky that I never did anything really stupid that I couldn't fix or that I really regretted. I got written up on basically the last day of school (THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME -_______-) and I've promised my mom that I wouldn't drink hard A since....not that I'm not down for beer pong though :) However, I have to say it felt good just not giving a crap and not having to be the responsible one, for once. 2nd semester was a good release, but I don't think I'll be repeating it anytime soon. My liver needs to recover anyway :)

So I got really attached to Boston in the last 2 or 3 weeks of being there, and I did really miss it the first couple days I was back. I'm lucky though, since a lot of my friends are also in semester schools or still around, so I still have people to hang out with. I'm eagerly awaiting the return of my quarter-system friends though...I'm excited to see everybody! I'm going to be around Cupertino for most of summer, minus from June 30th to July 20th when I'm heading to the East Coast (Boston, New York, Providence!), going back to work at Froyo? :) So let's hang out!!!


A more introspective post to come...I have a lot of things on my mind lately, unfortunately. Summer should be carefree!!! At the very least, it is fun :)

I don't know what's going on anymore. Everytime I think I have a hold of life, I lose it...or maybe I just never had it to begin with. I'm so tired of watching people cry.



On a brighter note, Wolverine is an awesome movie. I didn't expect it to be a love story, but the fact that it was might have made it better..kinda? GO SEE iT....def worth the $11 or $9, depending on which coast you're reading this from.














I miss home, and my family. SIGH.

The past 2 weeks have been hectic; a preview of my years to come. Being on eboard is fantastic, and everything I wanted. Even though I now have even less free time than I did before (and that's saying something), it's so satisfying. I'm so glad that I love all the people on my eboard, or else those 10 hour meetings would be really frustrating. However, the budget report for next year is due soon, and it is driving me insane. So much work to do!! SIGH. On the bright side, this is the first chance I've gotten to breathe and not really worry about anything in 14 days, and IT FEELS GOOD TO NOT DO ANYTHING. On the not so bright side, I'm just blogging in between classes and I'm running on 4 hours of sleep, thanks to my social psych exam. Sweet.

There's been a heat wave at Boston recently...despite a couple days of pouring rain, it reached 92 on Tuesday, which is even hotter than Cupertino!! :O Damn all the stupid East coast people who lied to me and said it never got hot in Boston...I now have basically no cute summer clothes to wear...I feel like a scrub now that all the rich pretty girls are busting out with their sundresses and heels. However, my mood is indefinitely improved by the warming sun, and it's nice to not have to bring multiple jackets with me wherever i go...or to have to bring a jacket at all :)

So finals season is upon us...I have 3 finals scheduled for next Saturday, hoping to get one moved to the following Tuesday, and then home free!!! I'm staying for senior week and graduation, so I'll be landing in San Jose airport around midnight on the 19th :) While I'm excited to be going home soon, I'm definitely going to miss this place and the people for our 4 looong months of summer. However, I'm hoping that summer will turned out as planned, and if it does, I'll be working at Stanford for 6 weeks as a CTY summer camp counselor :) I need money!!! And I also need to be prodcutive. I can't handle it when I have nothing to do for long periods of time...I'm pretty excited though :) basically for life.

Okay, I thought I would have more to say after two weeks but I guess I fail :/ Will update soon!!! Hopefully.

Why do the worms come out to drown and die when it rains????

It's getting a little ridiculous...the walk to the cafeteria is really nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. I don't want to kill worms!! Even if it is by accident!

So now that my (minor) hell week is over, I'm finally getting a chance to chill, not feel stressed, and just enjoy where I am and what I'm doing. The past two weeks have been pretty up and down, but no big :) This is going to be a giant two week recap, so bear with me haha. I will attempt to make it brief.

So during the last week of march, I had 3 midterms, caked a friend for her birthday, went to lots of culture club events (butter beef night, documentary showings, bbq, etc. :D), and went to a friend's art show. 2 of my midterms were on that Thursday, and due to the caking of my friend, I didn't get back to my room until 1 AM Wednesday night..or is that Thursday morning?? Once I got to my room, I proceeded to realize that I had spilled vitamin water all in my bag...and thus now my ipod is broken, making this the 3rd or 4th apple victim in my destruction of all things electronics. Some days, everything I touch just dies (:(). The prospect of another $200 down the drain is semi-disheartening, but the idea of a cute purple nano in my pocket is kind of exciting.

That friday was also the Ben Folds and Lupe Fiasco concert. A band called Jukebox the Ghost opened for the two of them, and they were so good!! We had gotten 3rd row seats because of our good friend who started waiting in line at 4:30 (the doors opened at 7...he's nuts.) so acoustics were great. All the acts were amazing live and were all so charismatic, and it was really a good show. The Jukebox the Ghost pianist/singer sounded so much like some other big name (the who escapes me at the moment...) and he had the funniest hand gestures and mannerisms. Ben Folds is also amazing at piano, and Lupe also sounded great. We baked brownies beforehand so that might've helped with the fun.

It's been pretty busy the past week because I was in another culture show for my friend's club, and I got put into the hardest dance, Thai Bamboo. Basically, it's the dance where they clap long bamboo sticks on the ground and the dancers have to dance through them...A hard task for males, in particular, especially those who have no sense of rhythm. It didn't help that our choreographer wasn't that familiar with the dance either, and we had to keep canceling practice for various reasons and we were always missing people when we finally had to practice. Lots of smashed fingers and bruised ankles and feet and loud noises equals a lot of stress. The show is finally over now, and all is said and done and the afterparty was fun, so oh well.

So I'm running for CSA culture chair next year, which basically means if I win I'd be in charge of the culture show and other cultural events. At first I wanted to run because I really like the performing arts and I wanted to get involved, but I'm kind of having second thoughts about it. Don't get me wrong, I definitely still want to be involved but there's been a lot of drama within eboards (executive boards, aka the officers) and between the culture clubs, and I'm just feeling a little apprehensive about elections, which are tomorrow. I also wanted to get involved with SEASA though, so I guess if I don't get culture chair it won't be too bad...Whatever happens happens! More on this later, and my thoughts on things I want to accomplish before I graduate.

I think one thing that I've learned (or had reiterated) in college is that it is so much easier to face your problems head on. Backstabbing, gossiping, all this beating around the bush just makes everything worse. Confront the problem, be honest, and things have a tendency to work out...for me at least haha. If that advice ruins anybody's life, I'm terribly sorry. We're all growing up, why shouldn't we be able to talk things out without getting offended?? I feel like the big picture is so much more important now...wasting your breath over petty things just isn't worth it.

Other things...Dancing is coming back into my life, and it feels great :) I'm getting my flexibility back after not stretching for a semester; I can do the splits again!! YAY hahaha. Now that I'm not sick, I can also start going to the practice rooms again to keep singing. I really miss organied dance and singing, but oh well :/ My life would be SO different if I'd made an acapella group...so weird to think about haha. College is time to take charge of your own life though I suppose, so that's what I'm going to do :) Education, extra-curriculars, and everything! (ALLITERATION YAY)

Feeling better, but more thoughts to come. There's so much to look forward to!

This is going to be (and has been) a bad week (so far). I actually have something to say, but will update later, when I feel like it.

Things have been busy, as always.  I'm kind of starting to get the hang of this work hard party hard thing...although I'll have to get back to you on that after my 3 exams this week.  I'm doing another culture show for my friend, so there are those practices, and then I'm learning how to waack with the bboys here, and then there's the obligatory school work and what not.  Registration and rooming for next year is in 2 weeks...Ridiculous!! This year has gone by so quickly, where has all my time gone??

Now that it is once again Tuesday at 12 PM, that means it is time to completely disregard everything my psych teacher is saying to blog :) Don't worry, I actually have an idea of what to blog about this time...It won't just be my brain throwing up onto my keyboard. Pleasant, right?

So this is something I've noticed before, but didn't really contemplate as much until recently. I realized that while I now feel like a college student, I don't feel like a Boston College student. After getting involved with the culture clubs, and hence the Asian community here at BC, I feel like I don't go to Boston College the school, but rather that I attend a small Asian subset of the university. When I walk around campus, or walk into cafeterias, I automatically scan for Asians because it is highly likely that I will know them, either personally or just by face. On the other hand, at non-Asian events I have begun to keep to myself, because it is so much more likely that I don't know anybody at all.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Being a part of the Asian community here has expanded my networks by a lot, in a way that I rather appreciate. I have met a lot of people that I would've never interacted with otherwise, and my friends are no longer limited to freshmen. There is always something to do, not just on the weekends but on the weekdays as well. There is always somebody who wants to grab lunch or dinner, or head to the gym, or just hang out for a couple of hours. If I can't sleep at night or am still awake at 5 in the morning due to some ill planning on my part, there is always somebody else awake (Apparently, Asians just don't sleep. I thought this was limited to MV, but BC has proven it correct as well haha). I guess it just feels nice to actually belong to some sort of community, to know that there are so many people I could ask for help.

On the other hand, the fact that there is always something to do is affecting the other groups of people or areas in my life. I have not spent quality time with my floormates in forever, and I miss them. I'm losing touch with friends I made first semester, even the people I've met this semester. The constant requests for time are so enticing that my work is more and more often being left undone, and my classes more and more often left unattended. My grades aren't suffering that badly though, which is probably encouraging my behavior in some sense. In fact, I'm even kind of doing better in some classes...how peculiar.

I guess that I'm still just looking for that balance that so often eludes me. Something to keep in mind I suppose...



Today is St. Patrick's Day, and the fact that I attend an Irish-Catholic school has never been more obvious. Everbody is wearing green, and some people have been drunk since last Thursday. I'm attending a club event for my friend's company party, so that should be pretty fun/exciting. It is open bar after all :P

I am so tired all the time. Even laying in bed all day for 2 days in a row has not been enough to replenish my energy...Must fix problem now. At least it's been nice outside, nice for Boston as in above 35 degrees. Tomorrow is even going to be 56 degrees...how exciting!!

So spring break was pretty much amazing, despite all the time I spent travelling instead of chilling with my friends haha. Even though nobody else was home, I still had plenty to do in cute little Cupertino...bowling, shopping, the obligatory verde run, lots of eating :) I also got my lip pierced!!! Pictures on my facebook, don't think it'd be a good idea to put a picture of me on a public blog, hehe. To answer the usual questions, it actually didn't hurt that much to get it pierced...A really uncomfortable pinch haha and then my body kind of numbed the area in defense. The healing process actually sucked more, especially since I ate spicy food once or twice so I swelled like crazy and it was just really sore and uncomfortable for a really long time haha. However, a week and 2 days later it is healing rather well, minus the itchy scab stage haha.

So anyway, after spending a couple days in norcal I began my tour of socal in an effort to see as many people as possible haha. Started off flying down to San Diego, staying with A & L, which was very fun :) The beach is amazing, La Jolla Shores is absolutely gorgeous. Will upload pictures soon hehe. Then took Amtrak to UCLA to stay with N, whom I miss dearly <3 Then off to USC to see A & G. First off, it's so interesting to think about how we all think we know what college life is like...but in reality, each campus is so different that honestly, we have no idea how it is at every other school.

First off, socal campuses are GORGEOUS. There are actually people wandering around and hanging outdoors on campus and such..it's amazing that it's actually warm enough to consider such a thing haha. The palm trees are nice, and the weather is fantastic too. And I just realized how FREAKING SMALL the dorm rooms at Boston College are!!! I'm actually kind of bitter, I'm not gonna lie haha. The forced triples at UCSD are as big as the regular triples here...So sad haha. Also, frat row on USC is pretty impressive....I guess it's a pretty definining characteristic of the school, but I'm still kind of glad BC doesn't have a greek system haha. I'd have a lot less friends ahha.

Also, cabs suck. I spent almost $200 on cab fares this week and travel just fails in general. I pre-ordered a shuttle on sunday morning from USC to the airport, and it never showed...so after half an hour of waiting and then being put on hold for like 20 minutes after which they tell me my driver isn't picking up, I order a cab from a second company, which is then sent to COURTLAND street, instead of PORTLAND street. I hate my life. And there was only one security line at the airport so it was ridiculously slow, and I was legit the last one onto my flight. I ran onto my flight at 11:30, it was scheduled to leave at 11:30. They were closing the doors as I was running for it, and I got all the dirty looks from the airline staff and all the other passengers as I shamefully made my way down the aisle as that "last person" on the plane. SIGH.


I feel really all over the place, life since coming back to BC has been pretty...interesting to say the least haha. I have no cohesive thoughtful insights to share with you all...or rather I do, but none that I an form at the moment. Probably something to do with me being dizzy and sick...will update when I feel better haha.

An interesting thought..

Today at a party that G took me too, we were talking with some of her friends. One of the guys, C said that he had applied to Berkeley but didn't like it because they were very close-minded. The NorCal-ians of the group disagreed immediately, and discussion ensued. One girl said, "I feel like if you're liberal at all then you'll fit in at Berkeley", to which the guy responded, "But what if you're not?"

"Isn't that being close-minded then?"





What an interesting thought. I think I agree with the boy....Berkeley is more accurately liberal, not open. Thoughts anyone?

So I have a 3 hour layover in JFK, so it's time to BLOG! The past week has been really good...I finished all my midterms the week before so I was pretty much just cruising before going on break. Spring break could not have come at a better time...I am so excited to just chill, go home and see my family & friends. I'm excited to be visiting socal too though....70 degree weather here I come!!! w00t.

I've been clearing some things up this week and it's been working, but at the same time even more has been weighing on my mind. Letting the peple who criticize do whatever they want, while keeping my actions to myself...When it comes down to it, some people can keep secrets and others can't, so I'll be sure to stick to those who can. It's nice to see how things are settling down and turning out...especially since I like the results.

Some notes about New England....WHY THE FUCK IS IT ALWAYS WINDY!?!?!? JEEBUS. I don't understand, I feel like I'm about to get blown away, and not in the exciting sense of the phrase either. And the wind ALWAYS blows in the opposite direction of my bangs, which is really annoying hahah. I still like the snow after a winter here, and rain too. Good for me keeping my preferences :) I really like the city of Boston, but I hate public transportation. I miss good asian food, so our trip into Chinatown last night was well in order.

I found a LOT of great music lately...it's very exciting. And I'm finally going to see Ratatat on 4/20!!!!!!! I'm SO EXCITED for that...HEHE. I realized that I love dance parties. What else is new...hahaha. My mind is starting to wandering because I'm getting too into the music lololol. Will blog later when I have something to say.

So that brings us to the past week. My happiness level has gone up by a lot; even my friends have mentioned how much more spirited and content I've been lately. The only teensy problem though was that after allowing myself to blow off work and going to classes for the chaotic hellweek before culture show, it's a little hard to get back into school mode. The first half of my week was a mess, with midterms and staying up all night and not sleeping enough and what not, but I like to think I got it together towards the end :) No more missing class for me!

This weekend has been ridiculously busy too, but I figured if I didn't blog now, I would never get my lazy ass around to doing it :) Yesterday, my friends and I went to the Museum of Science to watch a show. Basically, they have these awesome laser light shows that are synchronized to different bands, such as Queen, the Beatles, and Pink Floyd. The Pink Floyd was pretty good, but since I'm not a die-hard fan I didn't really know the songs. Hence, I was very excited to watch the Beatles this time. UNFORTUNATELY, due to the massive amounts of traffic we got there half an hour late and missed it. SIGH.



The night view of the Boston skyline might have made up for it though...GORGEOUS. Except you can't see in the picture that it is super super windy.


I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but in our culture clubs (CSA, KSA) we get split into families :) So last night was a family tournament hahaha and it was extremely competitive, squished, and fun. I need to improve at beer pong!! Although I've realized that I only get hangovers when I drink beer...which is often since everybody loves pong here....which sucks :( Need to find a way to counteract that...haha

And then today, rolled out of bed around one to go to the Museum of Fine Arts with some friends (aren't you proud of me mom??? I went to a museum for FUN). They had to look at impressionist paintings for their painting class, and I just tagged along. I really appreciate art a lot more than I used to when my family would drag me to galleries and what not. I realized that I love either really DETAILED art, or really simple art. All for the extremes!! Haha. But anyway, here is my favorite painting, The Seventh Plague of Egypt by John Martin:



It's not quite as amazing on a computer screen, but the real painting was huge, about 5x7 ft.




On a pretty separate note, these past 2 weeks I've really figured out who I actually enjoy spending time with, and who really isn't a good friend. It bothers me a lot how people here are so typical (refer to A Tidal Wave of Events part 1) and judgemental...I'm really sick of having my every action scrutinized and dissected. Honestly, I don't think I've changed very much since I've been here, so whatever they may find out about me should have no impact on how they view me whatsoever. I haven't changed, only their perception of me has. It's really annoying when people say things like, "Good, that makes me like you a lot better as a person". WTF? In a related situation, okay yeah I like to drink and go out with friends, and I like to get drunk. I've only crashed in a friend's room twice this entire year, and somehow all my friends think I'm so crazy for drinking so much or for not sleeping in my own bed, when they've done it so many more times themselves. They assume that if a guy walks me back to my room at 3 AM, that we're going to hook up. They assume that if I drink, I'm going to get trashed and make out with whoever is standing next to me. I really just want to tell them...Listen. I'm not you. I'm not that type of person, and if you don't know that by now, then you obviously don't know me very well. SIGH. I need legit friends, and I'm glad I'm finally on my way to finding them....maybe that's why I've been in such a great mood this past week :)



On one last note, I think I'm going to get my lip pierced over spring break :P Thoughts?