For the Mr. Kites

A lot of things on my mind recently....I'm back in Boston for a couple of days and everybody around me is studying for something (MCATs, LSATs, etc.) and I'm feeling pretty unproductive around them, so I suppose I'll blog and feel mildly intelligent for a bit. Topics I want to cover: passive aggression, the downside of living on two coasts, thoughts about next year.

Okay so we decided to go watch Bruno on my last night in New York (how did I get tricked into doing this...I have no idea) and the theater was huge, with nice comfy seats that kinda bounced and sank down when you sat down in them. When I sat down the rather overweight lady behind me starting complaining about how my seat hit her knees but seeing as how I couldn't really do anything about it except not sit there, I didn't say anything. Throughout the movie she kept kicking the back of my chair in bursts, which I naturally assumed was an accident, but towards the end, when there were maybe 10 minutes left, she abruptly swore and leaned forward and angrily asked me to put my feet down, which of course I did promptly. I guess maybe my feet were blocking her view? I'm still not quite sure, maybe she just really dislikes people who put there feet up. But seriously, what a display of passive aggression...so ridiculous. I really don't understand why she didn't just ask me to put my feet down to begin with?? I don't know I can't say that I'm a very passive aggressive person, so maybe it's just really satisfying to kick seats instead of watching a movie in peace? But yeah...people are strange.

So just when I thought that I was making life on two coasts make sense, not so much. This weekend there were a ridiculous number of things going on...obviously I could only pick one thing to do, and it turned out very very fun :) Unexpected fun is so fun!!! And so satisfying. And also no hangover a bowl of pho the next day won't cure heh. I had a fantastic time, and yet when I hear about all the shenanigans my friends at home are getting into, I wish I was there too...I feel like I am doomed to this feeling of always missing out on something. I hope that this feeling goes away, because it would really suck to be forever dissatisfied with what I have. But I'm not!! I'm not dissatisfied!! How to stop *________*

Hanging out with BC people again, I am getting super super excited for the upcoming school year. As I read on her blog, C definitely had it right. Freshman year was too ridiculous and I felt all over the place...sophomore year I know what I want to do and I know what I have to do to achieve those goals, and I am SO EXCITED!! Now it's just a matter of time...I have culture show to think about, school, I'm researching in a psych lab, and I'm thinking about either joining a dance group or getting a job. Unfortunately, I do have to pick :/ I wish I could do both!!


Okay, running out of things to say. Everybody is studying so hard :X and I'm just waiting for the pizza to get here hehe. One last thing...I LOVE 80s MUSIC.

Things have been busy, as always.  I'm kind of starting to get the hang of this work hard party hard thing...although I'll have to get back to you on that after my 3 exams this week.  I'm doing another culture show for my friend, so there are those practices, and then I'm learning how to waack with the bboys here, and then there's the obligatory school work and what not.  Registration and rooming for next year is in 2 weeks...Ridiculous!! This year has gone by so quickly, where has all my time gone??

So that brings us to the past week. My happiness level has gone up by a lot; even my friends have mentioned how much more spirited and content I've been lately. The only teensy problem though was that after allowing myself to blow off work and going to classes for the chaotic hellweek before culture show, it's a little hard to get back into school mode. The first half of my week was a mess, with midterms and staying up all night and not sleeping enough and what not, but I like to think I got it together towards the end :) No more missing class for me!

This weekend has been ridiculously busy too, but I figured if I didn't blog now, I would never get my lazy ass around to doing it :) Yesterday, my friends and I went to the Museum of Science to watch a show. Basically, they have these awesome laser light shows that are synchronized to different bands, such as Queen, the Beatles, and Pink Floyd. The Pink Floyd was pretty good, but since I'm not a die-hard fan I didn't really know the songs. Hence, I was very excited to watch the Beatles this time. UNFORTUNATELY, due to the massive amounts of traffic we got there half an hour late and missed it. SIGH.



The night view of the Boston skyline might have made up for it though...GORGEOUS. Except you can't see in the picture that it is super super windy.


I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but in our culture clubs (CSA, KSA) we get split into families :) So last night was a family tournament hahaha and it was extremely competitive, squished, and fun. I need to improve at beer pong!! Although I've realized that I only get hangovers when I drink beer...which is often since everybody loves pong here....which sucks :( Need to find a way to counteract that...haha

And then today, rolled out of bed around one to go to the Museum of Fine Arts with some friends (aren't you proud of me mom??? I went to a museum for FUN). They had to look at impressionist paintings for their painting class, and I just tagged along. I really appreciate art a lot more than I used to when my family would drag me to galleries and what not. I realized that I love either really DETAILED art, or really simple art. All for the extremes!! Haha. But anyway, here is my favorite painting, The Seventh Plague of Egypt by John Martin:



It's not quite as amazing on a computer screen, but the real painting was huge, about 5x7 ft.




On a pretty separate note, these past 2 weeks I've really figured out who I actually enjoy spending time with, and who really isn't a good friend. It bothers me a lot how people here are so typical (refer to A Tidal Wave of Events part 1) and judgemental...I'm really sick of having my every action scrutinized and dissected. Honestly, I don't think I've changed very much since I've been here, so whatever they may find out about me should have no impact on how they view me whatsoever. I haven't changed, only their perception of me has. It's really annoying when people say things like, "Good, that makes me like you a lot better as a person". WTF? In a related situation, okay yeah I like to drink and go out with friends, and I like to get drunk. I've only crashed in a friend's room twice this entire year, and somehow all my friends think I'm so crazy for drinking so much or for not sleeping in my own bed, when they've done it so many more times themselves. They assume that if a guy walks me back to my room at 3 AM, that we're going to hook up. They assume that if I drink, I'm going to get trashed and make out with whoever is standing next to me. I really just want to tell them...Listen. I'm not you. I'm not that type of person, and if you don't know that by now, then you obviously don't know me very well. SIGH. I need legit friends, and I'm glad I'm finally on my way to finding them....maybe that's why I've been in such a great mood this past week :)



On one last note, I think I'm going to get my lip pierced over spring break :P Thoughts?

Okay, it's been a long time. Please, spare me, I've been ridiculously busy the past couple of weeks and a LOT has happened....so bear with me. This has been my first time sitting at my computer with absolutely nothing else I should be doing; no practices or meetings to run to, no midterm to study for, etc. I will even attempt to break up the text with pretty pictures :D and I think I'll just write separate posts for each event...hahah.

First off, I went to a retreat called 48 Hours during the first weekend of February. It's a retreat especially for freshmen, where we discuss social issues connected with the transition to college. I really did NOT want to go on this. While it had seemed fun and everybody had given great recommendations, this was the weekend before culture show and I had way too much I needed to get done. I almost backed out at the last second, but alas. The trip started off okay. It was about what I expected, lots of icebreakers and intense talks in small groups. My group leader Lainey was awesome; she's a senior who studied abroad in Florence last year, and she's extremely nice and honest, and unashamed to bring up topics. She led the discussions in good directions, and I enjoyed being under her guidance. My group was okay as well, even though several people didn't talk at all. Friday night and Saturday passed slowly, without any exciting news.

And then, we got free time. We were at a hotel in Brewster, right on Cape Cod and only a few thousand feet from the beach. For all you West-Coasters, you NEED to go to a beach during winter. The place, was absolutely gorgeous. We took a rickety wooden path through some forest, and we got to the Atlantic Ocean. The snow was piled up about 4 feet high, but since this weekend was so warm (as in, in the 40s lol) parts of it had melted and formed glacier-like things, making the beach look like some mini Antarctica. We had to jump from glacier to glacier to get anywhere near to the water, which we didn't anyway since it was low tide haha. It looked something like this:







So after seeing this gorgeous beach and some really insightful private journaling time, the weekend was finally worth it. There was also this great speaker who is a Theology teacher at Boston College and he teaches Buddhism. I am TOTALLY taking his class next year. One thing that bothered me though was that all the people on the trip completely epitomized the stereotype of BC students. We each had a chance to share our stories, and all of these ex-valedictorians, ex-football captains, ex-wrestling captains, ex-city council teen members, got up to say their bit. All their stories went like this: My life was perfect in high school and my dream school was Boston College (or Notre Dame, or Vanderbilt) but I got deferred and I was so sad, and then I got waitlisted, but now I'm here and at first the transition was SOO hard because everything was different from home but now everything is perfect and I'm SOO glad I came on this retreat. I love my life!!! Happily ever after. The fact that everybody said this was really ridiculous to me...When I was listening I couldn't help but think that they were all insane, because personally I still harbor thoughts about transferring. I guess I was just a bit disappointed by the confirmation of the cookie-cutter student.

I guess from 48 hours, although I was sick and exhausted, I did get something real out of it. I didn't expect to cry while writing in my journal; I thought I had resolved to be happy at Boston College no matter how much I missed home. It's been a rough start of a semester, dealing with stuff from home and also just homesickness, but I didn't even want to acknowledge how unhappy I was. Although it sounds cheesy, I felt a lot better after I finally admitted to myself that I still do kind of want to transfer. I guess in my determined state to be happy, I refused to let myself be sad and it just got a lot worse. Ironically, after I finally addressed my problems, things have started looking up. I don't know if the retreat was worth the $100 and lack of sleep, but I guess looking at my current emotional state and the mess I was 2 or 3 weeks ago, I'm glad I went anyway.

Shit, I had this really witty blog post (topic) planned out in my head as I was riding the bus, but then I forgot.

The past week has been rather intense, but in a good way. I had a history midterm on Wednesday so my Monday and Tuesday were full of studying...I even skipped Monday night beer pong!!! However, I hope I did well...I didn't not know anything but my essay was a little scattered, so we'll see when I get it back on Friday.

I realize that while I have mini-problems with a few of my classes, the only one I truly despise going to is Courage to Know. Now, I accept that this is not true of every student taking this class...but it is mainly because of my teacher. This class is supposed to be a seminar where we discuss social issues in America and otherwise, a sort of use-your-own-experiences-to-have-intellectual-discussions type thing, but my teacher is extremely overbearing and slightly offensive in her attempt to be controversial and prod us into reacting. Also, despite what she says, I do not feel comfortable expressing my opinions in class because she cuts me off and proceeds to tell me that what I think is incorrect and that I am just too close-minded/negative/cynical/naive. Those who know me know that I love to talk, I love having good thought-provoking conversations whether one-on-one or in a classroom setting. So, in order to make me afraid to talk and refuse an opportunity to discuss an important issue is truly an impressive feat.

But anyway, today she sent out an email saying that our class was slacking too much, saying that "And though it pains me to have to re-address problems that I had believed were behind us...it is once again time for me to send this message out in writing, as a warning, wake-up call, last chance, for those of you who for whatever reason, have not yet understood the significance and the process of being a freshman at a prestigious liberal arts Jesuit university". What the fuck? That's what I thought when I read this message. In no way did it inspire me to work harder, to care more about the class, or to basically like her at all. Her entire email was extremely condescending, referring to those who have "shown yourselves to be exceptional students and human beings"implying, or so it seems, that if you are a bad person in her class then you are a terrible human being.

Simply put, I just don't like her teaching style very much. Perhaps the reason that I don't care for this class is because I simply do not respect her, definitely not as a teacher and maybe not even outside of her occupation. That combined with the fact that it is an hour and fifteen minute long class at 9 AM just means that I do not feel inclined to go at all.

On another subject, I just checked my weather and saw this:

WHAT THE FUCK? YES, THAT SAYS SNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
I guess it's kind of exciting, but I'm expecting my toes and fingers to freeze already. Time to bust out the gloves!

Also, I attended a KSA retreat this weekend (Korean Students Association). No, I am not Korean but I didn't see any reason for that to prevent me from going, especially since a lot of my friends wanted to go as well. We went to this BEAUTIFUL camp called Camp Cody that was situated next to this enormous lake, and the place was really just gorgeous. I really miss wildlife...the lake reminded me of Stevens Creek Reservoir and just kind of made me miss home. But anyway, I digress.

The entire weekend was really emotionally draining as we slipped from one extreme to the next. The E-board (officers) all had really deep stories to share with us, but the nights were really ridiculous and fun. I learned a bunch of ridiculous games (everybody played games anywhere we went, basically any chance they had when they sat down in a circle) and we started the best frog game ever. The more serious side of the retreat manifested itself in discussions of issues and difficulties with being an Asian American and what this means not only at Boston College but also in our extended worlds. Coming from the bay area and a school that was 85% Asian, I had my eyes opened to a lot of things that I had never given much thought to. Also, coming to the East Coast, I think that I am more bothered by racist comments than the rest of my Asian friends here simply because I am not used to it. But that's life right? And the question now is how do I and we react to this? The mini-break from Boston College was much needed though...At the end of the three days I wasn't too ready to head back to the hectic college life yet.

On a side note, everybody at retreat was amazingly talented. So many people could dance, sing, beatbox, and play guitar...and even rap! Amazing!!!

Alas, it is 9:03 PM and I have some reading to do before Monday night beer pong beckons, so I need to get on that. Some last thoughts...The Of Montreal concert is this Thursday!!!! I am so excited to see them live, but I think I would give that up to watch Hard Haunted Mansion in socal this weekend...:( OH Justice and Crystal Castles, how you tug on my heart strings. Also, Halloween is this Friday!!! I am ridiculously excited and hope that my costume gets here on time. My birthday is NEXT Friday, and I'll finally be 18!! After that, just 2 more weeks until I finally get to go home!!!! Oh how I miss the California sunshine <3

So today, I logged out of my xanga account and when I tried to log back in, I didn't remember my password. Not panicking yet, I clicked the convenient "Forgot Password?" button, and promptly sent my password to my registered email. So, a bit of time passes, and no email containing salvation arrives. I check all of my accounts, nothing. And then, a sinking feeling. I realize that the email registered to my xanga account was deleted. NOW WHAT?

So, lucky me, on my lovely mac Safari browser I am still signed into Xanga. However, in order to change my registered email, I need to enter my password for "extra protection", which is screwing me hard instead. While I can still access xanga there, maybe it is time for a change...God knows I've had that xanga since 2005, back when it was all the rage.

So welcome to Pet Monsters and Fat Cats...my now daily blog. I always did find writing to be quite therapeutic, so I guess I will start posting regularly for the public again, here or on Facebook. Lovely, no?