For the Mr. Kites

So there hasn't been much of anything productive done lately, since I got back from Tahoe. Not that I'm complaining mind you, but I guess there just isn't really anything to do in little old Cupertino. I had quite an enjoyable Christmas, barely made it through the after-Christmas sale, and ingested lots and lots of pearl milk tea and other types of unhealthy greasy foods. Today was a rather failed exursion with my family too...We were planning to go to the De Young Museum in the San Francisco Golden Gate Park, but there were SOO MANY PEOPLE. The streets were packed in all directions and there was no parking to be found whatsoever :( And then we tried to go to Filoli mansion (shout out to choir kids!) it was closed. OH WELL.

Also, something I noticed while sitting in the car for 2 hours today...All the popular songs on the radio these days don't even have real WORDS! Take Pink's "So What", where the well known line is "Na na na na na na na". Or "Disturbia" by Rihanna, which is "Bum bum bee dum, dum dum di dum dum". OR, that ridiculous T-Pain song, "I wanna make love right na-na-na", or also that song about policewomen that I actually have no idea what the title was or who sings it...if that can even be defined as singing. SIGH. Music is ridiculous.

Thanks to the holiday break, USA has given me one of the best presents ever. There have been all day HOUSE MARATHONS, which I love love love love love love love. House is seriously one of my favorite shows ever, and the fact that it's on almost 24/7, and when it's not on it's NCIS which is also bearable and somewhat enjoyable, I have almost zero interest in leaving the comfort and warmth of my house and couch and the close proximity to blankets, my laptop, and any and all food. Christmas marathons plus the usual 3 hour run of CSI every day is absolutely great.

Anyway, I have a rather exciting week planned, which I really hope works out as planned. Fun incoming!!!

So I'm home again, this time for a long haul. My flight home was kind of miserable-I flew from Boston to Arizona first, and the flight was already supposed to be longer because we had to fly down to Texas and back up to avoid some jet stream, but the head winds were still like 100 mph, so we ended up landing an hour late anyway. We landed at 9:05, and my flight from Phoenix to San Jose left at 9:05. HMMMMMM. So yeah, hungry, sleep deprived, and cramping, I obtained a rather nice (discounted) hotel room and got some shuteye before taking the next flight back, which was the next morning at 8 AM. SIGH. People are very angry late at night at the airport...haha..

So I was back for a day or two and then my family and 3 friends went snowboarding at Tahoe. We got this cute little cottage about 10 minutes away from North Star and my mom cooked us food :) Snowboarding was REALLY fun...although frustrating and tiring. This was my first time, so I fell A LOT in all possible ways...hence the soreness. My muscles refuse to respond to me. One thing I can't figure out though, why do my shoulders hurt!??

Christmas is tomorrow, which is REALLY ridiculous. I seem to be spending a lot of money on presents this year, even though I'm buying for a lot less people...Hm...Curious. However, tis the season of giving I suppose, and I am boosting our dead economy, har-har. It's also really time to start thinking about what I'm going to be doing next summer. Internship? Learning chinese or teaching english in Taiwan? Getting a job? How scary :( I don't really want to think about it.

In other news regarding my future, I forgot that in college, your GPA is different if you get A- or an A. AND...it sucks. Basically my GPA is a lot lower than I expected it to be, and everybody tells me the first year is the easiest too. AHH what should I do!?!





I ran out of things to say. Merry Christmas!

Hi all, I've decided to blame all feelings from this past week to PMS. I know, just an excuse, and maybe that's not really it, but I don't want to hear about it. I've also decided to remedy this by trying to keep myself busy, blasting electronica at dangerously high volumes (into my earphones though, as it is finals week), and writing about it here :)

I'm starting to really like college. And really like, as in I don't want to leave for a month. Really like, as in I don't lie sleepless in my bed every night wishing I could go home. What is home, really? What's at home waiting for me? Thanksgiving was a good dose of home. I didn't want to leave by the end, but being back in Boston for only two weeks is too short. I don't miss home yet. I miss my dog, I miss certain eating places, maybe i miss some people, but not really. Or maybe, the reason I like college is because I don't want to go home.

I don't want to go back to my old life. As fun as that was, it's too up and down, it's too complicated. There are too many things that affect me in ways I'm not pleased with, due to too-complicated relations with too many people. I don't want to have to remember the bad times, because frankly I haven't really had any here at Boston College. College really can be the fresh start everybody wants. The only factor that decides everything, is you and how you go about things. College is the fresh start that I want. I'm getting the chance to start some sort of new chapter in my life with all the things that I wish I knew before, and I'm making damn sure that I'm not fucking things up.

But instead, being home and getting closer to home, there comes an anxious feeling instead. My stomach feels uncomfortable and my salivary glands go into overdrive; not quite the drooling or sickly sweet taste right before throwing up you'd imagine, but somewhere in between. I feel lethargic and slothy, my limbs get slightly tingly and I get unimaginably nervous. Over nothing. I think I know why, and it's a stupid reason. A stupid reason that probably doesn't even exist outside of my overactive out-of-control mind. I don't want to think anymore, so I pull out my trusty headphones and let trippy catchy beats overtake my mind. I can't get over this, and just when I thought I was free I realized I was still in the same stupid confines of my own head.

I want to say that life is too hard as an idealist. I want to believe that it would just be easier to be cynical and therefore never surprised when life disappoints me, but I don't want to give up what happiness I do have for anything. All in all, I want to keep hoping that all of my dreams of pretty things will come true one day, and that life doesn't suck as much as everybody else tells me it does. I want people to pleasantly surprise me when they finally change for the better, I want to be confident that my friends and acquaintances won't screw me over, and I want life as we know it to keep feeding me bits of happiness. Which makes it even harder to be down in the dumps, knowing that this is my choice not to be some unfeeling/depressed robot (Yes, an oxymoron, but go away). But I'm not going to lie, I can't wait until I am happy with everything again.



So until then (or whenever my chemicals decide to balance themselves), I will continue to hide in my Crystal Castles.

I wish I had a little more romance in my life. No, not love, not people who care, but romance. I guess this is the little girl in me talking, but it'd be nice to get flowers every once in awhile, to be taken out on a nice date on some Friday or Saturday night, or for anniversaries to actually matter. Or just somebody who's willing to watch Twilight with me, ha-ha. No, I'm not crazy for it but it's one of those romantic love stories that somehow has become a staple for every girl...although I am worried that the movie would ruin the book. I really liked the first book, but as for the others....not so sure, haha. But I digress...for real this time.

I know that this is a lot to ask; what kind of boy LIKES to spend money for something that seems unnecessary, and there are not many out there who have a romantic bone in their bodies. For most of the general population, romance has been beaten into their heads since birth instead, and everybody knows that those types of lessons never last. Like I've said before, despite my general practicality, I am still a romantic on the inside. However, I also acknowledge that this is something that is difficult to obtain, that the grass is always greener on the other side, etc.etc. Also, it is college and long distance is another giant obstacle that needs to be overcome.

I want to have my hand held in front of his friends. I want to feel like I'm making a difference in his life, and not only when I'm around. I want to not take him for granted, I don't want to be taken for granted, I want to be secure about everything, I want to forget the past.
But again.



Life is good, I have nothing big to complain about that is either of our faults. Distance is not even that bad, I guess. We get through it. There are many more ups than downs, and nothing is wrong. It's just that sometimes when I sit for too long and my mind wanders, I let myself wish for a little more than I have. I am happy though, and I know that the moment will pass.

However, if I had to say, this is my biggest compromise.

So everybody around me is freaking out like crazy over finals....Why I'm not I'm not quite sure, but I just can't seem to induce a panic attack by myself. Except when I wake up from a nightmare, like last night. I've done absolutely nothing today except get the notes I missed, and that was a massive fail too. So I typed up the notes along with another day's notes where I had written them into a wrong notebook, printed them out, and pasted them into the notebook. EXCEPT. I PASTED THEM BACK INTO THE WRONG NOTEBOOK. SO BASICALLY, I JUST FAILED. Ripping them all out and repasting them back into the RIGHT notebook = 1 stick of glue....I am now in dire need of adhesives.

So since I have nothing to do and I do not follow Stylista, which the rest of my floormates are watching, I shall entertain you all with interesting things that have kept me amused over the past 5 hours or so. Also, have you all seen Britney Spears' new video for circus? I have to say, I am extremely underwhelmed. The idea of a circus is a really good metaphor for Hollywood and also led to very cool set designs and what not, but I am rather disappointed in Brit Brit herself. She really seems to have lost that spark; her dancing is lackluster, there wasn't much dancing in general, and I was just BORED by the video. I'm really cheering for her, but she's not giving me much to work with.

My sister also recently posted a youtube link on my wall that led me down the path of fond childhood memories and ridiculous anime. That's right, I'm talking about Sailor Moon. This shit is OLD, but good. I remember we bought all the Japanese comic books too even though we couldn't understand them, just so we could look at the pictures. One thing that baffled me even back then though, is why don't the bad guys ever run away!??! Whenever Serena started to use her barrettes and sceptars of awesomeness, the villains always just stood there screaming for 5 minutes while the energy beam slowly made their way over to kill them.

Also, a brief digression...This is kind of embarrassing but as long as I'm entertaining you guys might as well go all the way. When we were small my older sister would always get to pretend to be Sailor Moon while I was relegated the role of the cat or some other similarly miniscule role. One afternoon, she told me that she was REALLY Sailor Moon...which even in my 6 or 7 year old mind I pronounced as bullshit, but she swayed me after many minutes of convincing (more like 5). She told me that that night was the Midnight Ball and she was going, and obviously I fell to my knees and begged and pleaded for her to take me too, which she agreed to grudgingly. She told me to wake her up at midnight and she would open the magic portal and take me to the Midnight Ball...the rest of the day passed slowly but normally. Now at this time we were remodeling our house, so our entire family slept in the same room. My sister was on the top bunk while I was on the lower and my parents slept on their giant bed which was pushed up right next to ours. So we go to bed, and midnight comes and my eyelids spring open as if an alarm was ringing in my ear. I proceed to climb over my dad to try to wake up my sister on the top bunk, which of course wakes him up, which wakes up my mom, and they ask me WHAT in the world I am doing. All this commotion FINALLY wakes up my sister, who slowly realizes what's going on and proceeds to laugh hysterically for the next couple of days....or months....or years. This is a sample of what my childhood was like.

Speaking of my sister, she uploaded pictures of our dog recently. And for those observant enough to notice, yes, she is very into photography so the photo is of extremely high quality (as it should be, as she is using a $560 lens). Also, I guess that wasn't really a digression up there since I never went back to my original topic, but oh well. I digress again.


This is my dog. He is the cutest thing I have ever seen.


Also, to further amuse you all, here is a picture of the Mexican Walking Fish. According to Webecoist.com, "The Mexican walking fish is on the verge of extinction. It’s a caecilian (more about that in a bit), and it lives in - where else? - the waters off Mexico." I think it looks like a pokemon.




And saving the best for last (I'm lying, I liked these things all equally), I present to the the Fainting Goat. Also according to Webecoist.com, apparently they were bred as decoys to save the more valuable sheep from the preying wolves. That's kind of depressing to think about, but now they are also loved for their novelty and kept as pets :)



That is all. I hope you have all enjoyed this post.