TFGIF

Friday, September 26, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Thank Fucking God it's Friday. I am really living weekend to weekend here...I don't know why I've lost all enjoyment in weekdays, har-har. But anyway, rain has descended on Boston like the locusts on the ancient Egyptians...that is to say, in a very destructive and annoying way. I really really need rainboots. Good thing it's parents weekend! My parents have flown over from little old Cupertino and Yasmine is coming down from Brown, and we're going shopping tomorrow as a family followed by watching the Blue Man Group, which I am pretty excited for. Sunday we take Yasmine back to Providence, and just hanging around I suppose. I really need a lot of warm winter clothing, and RAINBOOTS. Good lord, how I need them. Fine, laugh at me you weakly Californians...I refuse to sucumb to this weather!

Several random notes from the week:
-Why do hotel pens always work the best? They are smooth, nice rollerball pens, usualy in black, and they are SO nice to write with!!! So why do people spend $500 on really nice pens when I can just steal an excellent one (although probably not equal in quality) from whatever hotel I am residing in for the night? As I thought about this, I was writing with my Holiday Inn pen. Doubletree ones are equally as great, perhaps even better.
-Something that REALLY REALLY annoys me...So in our public bathrooms in our dorms, we have plastic shower curtains, and really high power shower nozzles. Sounds normal, no? NO. When you turn on said shower nozzles, they are so high speed that apparently they create gusts of wind from the water shooting out, and this creates a breeze that affects the shower curtains. As in, while I try to shower, the shower curtain somehow blows towards me and sticks to my legs, which, for anybody who has never had wet plastic stuck on their skin before, is truly a disgusting feeling. And it persists! No matter how many times I bat the stupid curtain back, it blows back, determined to grab onto my legs.
-In lieu of rainboots, perhaps it would be better to just wear flipflops and roll up my jeans. It's not that cold now (it was in the 50s the past week), just wet. So with flipflops, I could just wipe off my feet instead of having wet socks the entire day. Hmmm....

I'm sick and somewhat miserable. I took a day off school and slept for 18 hours, and felt significantly better after that, which is nice I guess. Another problem with not living on the main campus is that I'm just so LAZY to get my ass on that bus to go to class. And, nobody here cares if you miss! Self-motivation is a tricky tricky thing, my friends. And it's too easy to just get the notes from somebody else. Obviously, I am showing up for tests and classes that take role and what not, but honestly? Even in one of my small classes the teacher doesn't know my name. We have 20 kids in this class, come on. I haven't been to a full week of school in awhile...and considering I've been here for a month...

After the first not-so-great month of college, things are looking up. Like I mentioned before, living weekend to weekend is better than living break to break, I suppose. I am rather excited though. My family is here this weekend, I'm watching Death Cab for Cutie next Friday, Of Montreal on October 30th, and hopefully there will be a terrific (I just thought about Charlotte's Web, haha!) Columbus Day weekend too. Many things to look forward to! And if all else fails, there is Thanksgiving break. :) College is finally fun (most of the time), like it's supposed to be.

My Life, Continued.

Sunday, September 21, 2008 at 12:18 PM
So, it has definitely been one hell of a week. And just as I thought things were getting better, crazy nights become too crazy, and I end up talking to cops because my new friend is going to the hospital. I had met her at a bbq earlier in the day and we along with 2 other girls went together to some party on the main campus. It was fun, and it was a dance party, and then she disappeared at a party for an hour or two and we found her drunk as fuck on the stairs as we were leaving. She couldn't stand and threw up everywhere on the way to the bus stop, so the cops saw and took her...She's okay now though, and I'm not getting written up, for anybody who cares.

Last night was fun as well, some nice beer pong before heading into the woods behind my dorm to smoke. So we're sitting in a circle on the ground just hanging out, and we see these two figures coming towards us and we all freak out completely and start sprinting the other direction. However, my friend had dropped her phone when she started running, so we went back to find it, therefore having to talk to the strangers. So it turns out they are holding giant sticks (that looked like spears...) and weren't even students at Boston College, and they wanted to hang out with us for the rest of the night....Keep in mind, it is so dark that I couldn't even see what they looked like. I only remember that the taller guy was wearing a black windbreaker jacket that said boise on the back in white. So the shorter guy is extremely creepy and says things like, "You know all of this simply makes me more desirous to know your names," while stepping forward towards me and the other girl. Yeah, there are a lot of creepers here. Somehow the guys we were with managed to tell them to go away, at which point they turned and walked deeper into the forest...and we spent the rest of the night wondering where our friend had went (he had sprinted away and hopped a fence and then proceeded to disappear) and whether or not they were stalking us and getting ready to kill us. Yeah....

College is insane.
Hopefully though, it will be better for all other college newbies, not as homesick or lonely, and no cops or vomit or severe emotional distress involved. The first month is hard! I can testify to that..but you know, everybody gets through it...or transfers, har-har.

It randomly just started pouring here, and I love it.
Aside from the humidity, i love the weather here in Boston :).
I have cramps, it really sucks, I'm not going to lie.

Also, people make fun of me for saying hella, booo. Honestly, saying something is "hella cool" sounds so much better than saying something is "mad ill"....which is kind of painful to my ears. I've been getting some new music from friends (since I can't download anything here..) and it's nice to get some new stuff in.

Okay, I can't form any cohesive, smooth, or witty sentences. Sorry all, you have to bumble through this. Hopefully, more exciting things will happen in the coming week that I can blog about, or I will have some random thoughts in class that I can put down in a funny and interesting way. Until then, my dears!

What's Going On?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 11:49 AM
Somehow, in the past 24 hours, my life has turned into one big fucking soap opera.
I hate it.

At some point, making others happy, doing what you want, becomes overpowering, taking away your overall happiness as some terrible horrible cost. Where is this point? I wish I knew. I wish this didn't happen.

I don't understand, why people do the things they do. I think, if I can resist, if I can do something, then why can't they?


It was morning, and nothing has changed. Nothing is better, I feel exactly the same. Why would you do that? Why would you go and do something like that, to me?
It's so hard to stop shaking sometimes.
What do I do now?

Shit Happens

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 at 3:57 PM
Sometimes, somebody puts a pit of deep shit in front of you twice, and after the first one you don't think it'll happen again, but then you fall into the second one because it was in your path. What do you do now? How the fuck am I supposed to get out of here without getting dirty? What do I do now?



Maybe, it's my fault. I should've watched out for the second one and just saved myself.

Thoughts on Life as of Late

Saturday, September 13, 2008 at 3:41 PM
I am really tired of being labeled. I mean, of course though, if I didnt enjoy the football game it's because a girl and i couldn't possibly care even an ounce about the sport, if I hang out with all asians then we're invading and if I don't hang out with asians then I'm the token asian girl, or whitewashed. This is something that irritates me to no end. Last night, a couple of friends and I (we all happen to be asian, yes) were grabbing some food before a concert and we proceeded to the only 4 seats left in the cafeteria, that happened to be next to a humongous table of asians. as we attempted to sit down, the girl next to us told us that one of the seats were taken, so no big deal, my friend went to find a chair to pull up to the table. As he left, the girl's friend said, "Oh wait they can sit there, our friends can just sit next to us," to which the first girl replied, "Oh, oh well whatever, asians are invading anyway," as she glanced pointedly at the table next to us while gathering the empty box of the highly overpriced shitty sushi that our cafeteria sells, which she probably thought was the best sushi she's ever had in her life.

This is not the first time that this has happened while I was with that group of friends, and I am damn sure it won't be the last. I never knew that this would be a problem here. Our school is actually quite diverse, which I've touched on before anyway, but of course, that just means that asians are invading. White people usually hang out in groups too, and the same with black kids. But if asians do it, then it's suddenly not okay, and we get whispers and not so quiet comments on our ethnicity as we walk through campus. It's fucking ridiculous, and actually really bothers me. It's really sad how in this day and age, at this type of school, that is still a problem. But anyway...


So I didn't make a capella, or dance ensemble, unsurprisingly. Another surprising fact...If you are not amazing at what you like to do, then you have barely any opportunities to do it. Where am I supposed to dance b/c I am not a hip hop star, or a primo ballerina? When can I sing if I did not make a group? Maybe it's just because the things I enjoy are all audition-required here, but I am kind of disappointed. I hope I find somewhere to go, and something to do with all my free time. Maybe this is the time to learn how to play ultimate frisbee, har-har.

On another note, UC kids are leaving soon too. Weird!!! Everybody has had an extra month, and now it's their turn to frantically pack and be nervous and excited and what not. College is not the great perpetual funfest it seems to be, but that does not mean that it is unenjoyable either. Probably just me, but I have been really moody here....maybe not for any particular reason but a mix of several, I think. There was a concert for The Roots yesterday though, which was really fun, except my throat hurt when I woke up this morning, and I did not regain my hearing for quite awhile after we got out. I came back to my room last night after the concert like a good girl so I wouldn't be tired for dance auditions this morning, but tonight is a new night with no obligations tomorrow to keep me in!!! Fun ahead, hopefully.

A Conglomeration Of Thoughts

Monday, September 8, 2008 at 11:43 AM
Acapella auditions were yesterday afternoon, and I think they went okay. My nerves don't affect me mentally as much, only physically...which is even more embarrassing I think. After the first one, I was shaking so hard and I couldn't stop, even though I didn't feel anxious at all. I wish I could sing in front of people as well as I could dance....but oh well, practice I suppose. We find out about callbacks within the next day or so, and I really hope I make it. I know that acapella is really intense on the east coast, but it is honestly the only thing that I truly want to devote all of my time to, and I don't know what else I could do to fill up my time that would be nearly as enjoyable. Well, news to come!

Our first home football game was Saturday afternoon, and it was miserable. Everybody (including me) thinks the east coast is SO MUCH colder than the west coast, but this is in fact not true. This is another type of heat, the humid sticky disgusting heat of Taiwan, for those who have been there. True, it is 20 degrees cooler than back home, but there is no air conditioning in my dorm and I feel like I am bathing in sweat all the time. But I digress. Saturday afternoon was particularly brutal. The clouds and the air were swelled with even more water, as storms were predicted for the day, but during the football game the blazing sun prevailed. So basically, I stood on unstable silver bleachers squished by hundreds and thousands of other people sweating for 4 hours to watch out team lose. It was a miserable miserable experience. It poured later in the day and my evening was spectacular, so I guess it has nearly erased that memory from my mind.

I realized that although all of my teachers are very amusing and interesting, there are a few that use that as a cover to hide the fact that I'm not learning anything!! Thank you Monta Vista, you have prepared me well. Classes are not that hard here, at all, actually, and I no longer feel satisfied if I am not learning. Okay, fine. I am a bookworm. I like to learn and be intellectually stimulated, and right now I'm rather ridiculously bored because I'm not, in several of my classes. Not that I don't like the teacher, but rather that they are good people, not teachers. I'll have to consider my classes more carefully for next semester, I suppose.

On an interesting topic, not quite triggered by anything...Whenever we get really deeply hurt, we suddenly manage to delude ourselves thinking that what we had done had been good and wholesome and simply misinterpreted. In the onslaught of betrayal or whatever we got, we forget any ulterior motive that was possibly "not right" and sink into self-righteousness, because nobody deserves to hurt like that. We manage to convince ourselves that we did it for them, or we meant no harm, when in reality we just didn't think it through, or knew something was slightly off but ignored it because it was easier. We do anything and everything we can possibly trick ourselves into believing, because with something that cuts this deep, we wouldn't be able to stand it if any part of it was our fault.


More thoughts on life and college to come. I hope I make it!