For the Mr. Kites

I'm not too sure how I feel being back at school. I came back semi-optimistically, not with the full joy and determination of a brand new school year, but with some enthusiasm at least. I wanted to keep my grades up and not disappoint anybody, but since I've been back it's safe to say that this beginning-of-the-semester rush has all but faded away.

The way I describe it is that I am quite overwhelmed, and in the same vein, incredibly homesick. I'm so busy at school, I rarely have more than a one hour period to myself and the never-ending flow of meetings, schoolwork, class, and obligations is crushing. Now this wouldn't be too bad either, I suppose, if I wasn't feeling utterly disconnected from my social life at school too. It's hard switching back into East Coast mode and I just don't really feel up to sharpening my wits and flexing my vocal chords so that I can keep up mentally and volume-wise with the rest of my friends. Spoiled in California, I guess.

At least the classes I am taking are getting interesting. In my theology class this past week we've been discussing the concepts of loneliness versus solitude. According to our book, when you are lonely you are viewing others through a lens of your own needs, and you objectify them as solutions to your own problems. However, because only you have the solution, when the people around us inevitably disappoint us we become even more unhappy, thereby demanding even more and etc. Solitude, on the other hand, is a state in which you are in touch with the very ground of your being, when you finally stop demanding answers and listen to your questions. Because, as the book puts it, the questions are a product of your true being and "what is going on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love".



Interesting.


I guess all that it really comes down to is learning to love yourself. For after all, it is this solitude of the heart that enables you to love and connect to others fully, without any of your own reactions or needs blurring the view. When we think about it, our crying needs in loneliness are really pointing us towards the peace of solitude, if only we take the time to stop and listen.

On a similar note, I attended an event yesterday night thrown by SASA (South Asian Students' Organization) called Happiness and the Spirit of Inclusion: Wisdom From the Orient. They had a speaker, Shri Ramanujamji, who basically said the same thing as my book but not framed in a religious context. We see the world not as things are, but as we are. Happiness is a choice, he said, because of our human ability to respond, versus react. Happiness is the state of a quiet mind, neither restless nor mindless. As he pointed out, if you think back to a moment when you were truly happy, you weren't really thinking about anything at all. He was a good speaker, it was a good event, and I left feeling a lot more peaceful and satisfied with an otherwise distressing week. Props, SASA.



So my conclusion from all this is that I need to take some time to find my solitude. I don't want to drink because I'm lonely, or bored, and certainly not as a solution. I'm tired of waking up the next day too hungover to move and stuck with the dumb or out-of-character things I did the night before. I don't remember how to make myself happy anymore and it's really taking a toll on my mental state. So despite the fact that I may have to put my summer plans on hold , and despite the fact that this is going to mean a lot more alone time in my room, this is something I really need to do. I've always said that if you have a problem with something then there's no use in whining about it, just do something about it! And it's high time I took my own advice. So you'll have to excuse me friends, when I decline to grab lunch or dinner with you, or if I simply disappear from social settings. Hopefully when I reemerge I will know what I want to do and I will have a better idea of who I am. I want to love myself and be happy most of the time (if not all), not just some of the time, and this is something I am demanding from myself and that I definitely will not get from others.


Updates to come....A long journey is ahead.

This weekend was a much needed break from reality; S and Y both visited, and there were lots of memories created, some of which aren't remembered haha. Time is absolutely flying by though...this year even more so than last year. Although as all the upperclassmen tell me, time only keeps going faster after this. It's back to work though, I've got to be on top of my stuff this week if I want to have a worry free weekend in New York later.

The weather is changing again. The leaves barely had a chance to turn red before rain moved in over Chesnut Hill, MA and the temperature drops around 20 to 30 degrees with the sunset. However, I have to say...despite how much I complain I absolutely love the rain. I love waking up to the sound of raindrops on the roof, I love the way the world takes on a hue of gray, I love splashing through puddles with my indestructible rainboots. I like the idea of how the world is being washed clean...I think my favorite thing to do on rainy days is to curl up somewhere comfortable (a bed preferably) next to a window and watch the rain as I read. A hot beverage is appreciated, but not necessary. With the puddles forming and flowing over outside, I feel a lot more peaceful and content and this is never something I could complain about.

What is love? Ever since I started taking Health Psychology, I find myself coming back to the question, thinking about it even when I don't need to. I find myself frustrated over this question, because I am unable to answer it and yet I am so sure that I know what it is. A lack of eloquence, I suppose. Love is a concept surely, love is blind, love is rewarding and love is kind. Love is something you're supposed to feel in your gut and in your soul and when you know, you know. Love is when you want the absolute best for the object of your affections and you want to help them get there with no expectations for reward because when they're happy, you are too. Love is when you would do anything for them, because you trust them and know that they would never take more than you could give. I don't know...how do you describe a feeling?



Post definitely to be continued...for the meantime im going to sing my heart out and attempt to play piano :)

[Note: I started this post a week or two ago but I seriously just have never had time to finish it....I'm trying!!!] School has started and things are geting more than a little crazy already. I ended up getting the exact schedule that I wanted so I shouldn't complain, but basically the only things I have time for are work, dance, CSA, and sleep. A quick rundown of what's going on in my life:

Japanese: My teacher is a tiny cute little Asian woman, albeit with ADD and maybe a little crazy. But we like them a little crazy. Lots of friends in the class, I'm really interested in Japanese and I need to practice more so that my characters don't look like random scribbles. I'm excited for this class! I love learning new languages :)

Stats: Yeah...not much to say about this. As much as I like math, stats is something different completely. Our teacher is really enthusiastic and I have a few friends in this class too, so it's not too bad, but then again, it's stats. If I didn't have to take this for my major I definitely wouldn't haha.

Classical Mythology: I absolutely love mythology. One of the first books we had at home when I was young (other than children's picture books and a slew of historical fiction....I know we're strange) was a big blue book on Greek mythology. I never had a chance to fit Mythology into my schedule in high school, so I'm really excited to take it now. Our teacher is really nice and funny and I love her already :) Also, she brings her dog to office hours which is basically awesome. This class is living up to my expectations, and I'm really excited for the rest of the semester...even for the two 6-page papers coming up. Her sample essay topics sound so interesting!

Religious Quest: This was the last class in my schedule to fall in place. BC, being a Jesuit school, has a theology requirement and the Religious Quest sounds like the most interesting. As a comparative theology class, my section is comparing Buddhism (which I really like) and Christianity (which is unavoidable). My teacher is a lama (as in Dalai lama, not the animal like a lot of other people thought) and he really knows what he's talking about, but he kind of has a soothing sleepy voice haha. I really enjoy the content in this class, and the readings are actually stirring deep thinkings regarding my own beliefs in Buddhism, whether or not I agree, and my own interactions with life. More on this later..

Health Psych: Another fun old little man teaching this class. Although I originally wanted to take Adolescent Psychology, apparently that class requires 15 hours of volunteer service a semester and I unfortunately don't have that kind of time this year. I ended up signing up for health psych at the urging of a friend, and seeing as how it first nicely into my schedule and it's about the psychology of stress (something I can use this year), I thought why not. This is actually a really interesting class...the professor works at the Cambridge and MIT medical centers and he supplements his lectures with little anecdotes from his own experiences. The class doesn't even feel like two hours! Again, probably more on this later on in the semester.

CSA: So e-board is off with a bang, and I love it. Again, it helps that I actually enjoy the company of everybody on my board and despite the fact that I see these 8 other people 24/7, I am still not annoyed at anybody. Even though this is sucking all of my time, seeing the results of all of our efforts is so satisfying!!! I guess in the end triapsing all the way to Newton and Upper to knock on the doors of 140 freshmen was totally worth it...even if they thought we were creepy for knowing where they live (WHICH WE'RE NOT...anybody can find where you live by looking on the BC directory :D). And as chaotic as setting up for the first general meeting was, with only 3 members of our eboard available at a time to fry 400 dumpling and carry a billion things to the room as well as the problem with the room rec, so many people turned up and people actually laughed at our really awkward/creepy video, which was extremely gratifying. There's so much going on even within the next month that I am looking forward to, especially finally adding the last 4 members of our e-board, the 4 freshmen reps that we're picking at the end of the month. I'm excited for all that we can accomplish as student leaders and more :)

Conspiracy Theory: I'm trying my best to dance as much as possible, but after the crazyness that was last week along with my newly-lost ipod (FAIL...:( so sad.), I haven't gotten that many chances. Hopefully that will change this week though!! I tend to be in a worse average mood when I'm not dancing, and plus I want to get ridiculous at waacking. There was a jam last weekend on campus which was really fun to watch and just to be there in the vibe with a bunch of dancers. The popping battles were sick, the bboys did unearthly gravtiy-defying tricks and overrall it was a success, even with the minor dramz that went down behind the scenes.


So the first week of school was amazing but the second week so much. Just a slew of bad luck (or bad karma I guess..harhar) that included lots of lost things, immaterial and not, a car crash (everybody involved is okay, but both cars are no longer driveable), getting lost (kind of) and a severe lack of sleep that just made everything that much worse. However, the weekend was mostly fun, and nobody can watch Cirque du Soleil and stay in a bad mood :). Also, Regina Spektor last night was absolutely amazing...she sounds better live than on her CDs (if that was possible) and she's so funny and sweet and slightly awkward.

It's a new week and I'm trying to stay on top of my stuff and keep my head up... Nothing's perfect (definitely including me) and I'm trying hard to fix things. After all, all the effort we put into our relationships with other people and the world shouldn't be for nothing, and nobody should have to go through life alone and disliking where they have ended up. Wish me luck!

I don't know what's going on anymore. Everytime I think I have a hold of life, I lose it...or maybe I just never had it to begin with. I'm so tired of watching people cry.



On a brighter note, Wolverine is an awesome movie. I didn't expect it to be a love story, but the fact that it was might have made it better..kinda? GO SEE iT....def worth the $11 or $9, depending on which coast you're reading this from.














I miss home, and my family. SIGH.

So I am currently sitting in my Intro to Psychology as a Natural Science class, and I must say Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12-1:15 has officially become my most unfavorite part of the week. It's not so much that the content is uninteresting-on the contrary, it's very intriguing to get a biological background for all those silly psychological theories that I learned about last semester. I think I am biased though...The teacher was my advisor during orientation and also during schedule sign ups, and he was completely and utterly useless. He speaks really slowly and stutters, and speaks as if we're 5 and don't understand anything. During signups, he refused to let me type myself, insisting on using his 2 index fingers to slowly tap at the keys while the other students around me speedily entered their courses and got the schedules that they actually wanted. He also refused to let me sign up for the classes that I wanted, saying that they were definitely full and I shouldn't waste my time. UMM. YEAH.

So yeah, aside from the previous dislike, I guess he's not a bad human being. He's nice, he tries to make the lectures funny and he probably actually does know the material he's teaching. The problem lies in his communication of these ideas, using extremely wordy powerpoint slides that he cycles through way too fast for us to write down anything, other times spending much too much time on one slide that explains something that I had assumed was basic knowledge. Basically, he's kind of just a dinosaur.

Okay, I'm done ranting about psych. something else that has been on my mind lately though...Since coming to Boston College I have met a lot of different types of people. Some I've really enjoyed the company of....others...well let's just say I've never met anybody creepier. Now, there is one specific person who actively forces his way into my life, and while it's not so bad anymore, he used to deliberately make me uncomfortable when we were in the same vicinity, to the point that I felt uncomfortable making conversation with others or looking around as I normally do.

Now keep in mind, I am not specifically mean to him either. When he waves hi, I wave back. When he asks me questions, I answer. However, I will not wave excitedly, nor will I answer at length or in great detail. Basically, while I am not mean to him, I am not particularly nice or friendly either. This has caused a lot of our mutual "friends" (if you can call them mutual...) to give me shit for being "so mean" to him. This coming from guys who actively make fun of him to their face, while they think he doesn't know what's going on. This coming from guys who use him as some sort of social joke to provide entertainment for them when they are bored. Aside from the obvious hypocrisy, it also really bothers me that they feel the need to impart their "wisdom" on me.

I tolerate him. I am not too mean. I do not generally ignore his existence. So I've wondered a lot...why should I go out of my way to be nice to somebody who makes me feel like when he looks at me, he is somewhat undressing me with his eyes? I know this reaction is not unreasonable; every other freshmen girl who has interacted with him (he's a sophomore) feels exactly the same. It's as if he feels like since we're younger, we won't realize what a fucking sleazebag he is, and therefore somehow be ignorant to the clear lack of social skills and be swept off our feet or something. Why should I put up with somebody who makes me so unhappy and uncomfortable? People tell me I should be nicer...but basically, why should I be nice to somebody who doesn't deserve this? Now maybe the "kinder" people out there will feel uncomfortable with this conclusion, and feel it necessary to perhaps reprimand me for being a bitch, but honestly? I don't really care. I think my personal comfort (in a reasonable sense) comes first in priority to making other people feel good. And I refuse to tell him that it's okay for him to stalk me and my friends around campus, at parties, and take pictures of us when we're not looking. UGH, whatever, he's a creep.



This class is finally almost over. We're talking about the low asian tolerance for alcohol, and how apparently it's because asians are more likely to have a variant of a gene that metabolizes alcohol into a toxin, therefore leading asians with this gene to drink much less than caucasians, and even other asians. Does this explain asian glow? haha. I'm very hungry, and my stomach is growling extremely loudly...I hope nobody around me can hear it :X I'm actually in a good mood today, I promise. I've just been thinking about these things over the past few days and finally felt like blogging about it haha.


More on my recent confusion and the weather later.

This past week has been completely unexpected. A lot of things have happened that I never saw coming, and even more that I did. Regardless, I have come to several conclusions about my life and life in general that I am going to try extremely hard to hold onto. First off, everybody needs to grow up, and everybody deserves a chance to do it on their own. No matter how much I would like to stand there and wait for them, growing up is a personal journey that requires its own space, and sometimes that means alone. Secondly, somehow in the course of the past year or so, I forgot myself. I forgot some of the most basic guidelines that I have always tried to follow, and I forgot that in the end, I will always be okay. I do not really like change; I go along with it because I realize that it is inevitable, but god damn it if I don't like it I am going to fight it every step of the way. But I also forgot when to let go. I did stupid things, I did smart things, and even if this seems to be too fast to be possible, I am okay again.

I am not saying I will be okay forever. This is not permanent in the least, and I have a lot of up and down moments both, where the ups seem too good to be true and the downs seem like they will never end. I still wish things had ended differently, wonder if they had to end at all. I still wish, but I no longer hope that things will go back to the way they were, nor that I will be able to control every single factor leading to the conclusion. Time are a-changing! But I'll take what I can get, and I'm trying my best to move on.

Feelings are hard to describe.


On a much bigger scale, I watched the inauguration (along with millions of other people) and I have to say, I'm pretty impressed. I missed the music acts unfortunately, and I thought it was funny when Obama/Roberts messed up on the oath, but the latter half of the speech was quite moving. My favorite quotes I think are "Your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy" and also "We will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist". I'm optimistic but realistic as well. I think everybody deserves hope, but there is still a lot to be done.

And here, as promised, are pictures of the beautiful Boston College Campus:










Signing off, hopefully more mature than I was last week.

Hi all, I've decided to blame all feelings from this past week to PMS. I know, just an excuse, and maybe that's not really it, but I don't want to hear about it. I've also decided to remedy this by trying to keep myself busy, blasting electronica at dangerously high volumes (into my earphones though, as it is finals week), and writing about it here :)

I'm starting to really like college. And really like, as in I don't want to leave for a month. Really like, as in I don't lie sleepless in my bed every night wishing I could go home. What is home, really? What's at home waiting for me? Thanksgiving was a good dose of home. I didn't want to leave by the end, but being back in Boston for only two weeks is too short. I don't miss home yet. I miss my dog, I miss certain eating places, maybe i miss some people, but not really. Or maybe, the reason I like college is because I don't want to go home.

I don't want to go back to my old life. As fun as that was, it's too up and down, it's too complicated. There are too many things that affect me in ways I'm not pleased with, due to too-complicated relations with too many people. I don't want to have to remember the bad times, because frankly I haven't really had any here at Boston College. College really can be the fresh start everybody wants. The only factor that decides everything, is you and how you go about things. College is the fresh start that I want. I'm getting the chance to start some sort of new chapter in my life with all the things that I wish I knew before, and I'm making damn sure that I'm not fucking things up.

But instead, being home and getting closer to home, there comes an anxious feeling instead. My stomach feels uncomfortable and my salivary glands go into overdrive; not quite the drooling or sickly sweet taste right before throwing up you'd imagine, but somewhere in between. I feel lethargic and slothy, my limbs get slightly tingly and I get unimaginably nervous. Over nothing. I think I know why, and it's a stupid reason. A stupid reason that probably doesn't even exist outside of my overactive out-of-control mind. I don't want to think anymore, so I pull out my trusty headphones and let trippy catchy beats overtake my mind. I can't get over this, and just when I thought I was free I realized I was still in the same stupid confines of my own head.

I want to say that life is too hard as an idealist. I want to believe that it would just be easier to be cynical and therefore never surprised when life disappoints me, but I don't want to give up what happiness I do have for anything. All in all, I want to keep hoping that all of my dreams of pretty things will come true one day, and that life doesn't suck as much as everybody else tells me it does. I want people to pleasantly surprise me when they finally change for the better, I want to be confident that my friends and acquaintances won't screw me over, and I want life as we know it to keep feeding me bits of happiness. Which makes it even harder to be down in the dumps, knowing that this is my choice not to be some unfeeling/depressed robot (Yes, an oxymoron, but go away). But I'm not going to lie, I can't wait until I am happy with everything again.



So until then (or whenever my chemicals decide to balance themselves), I will continue to hide in my Crystal Castles.

I wish I had a little more romance in my life. No, not love, not people who care, but romance. I guess this is the little girl in me talking, but it'd be nice to get flowers every once in awhile, to be taken out on a nice date on some Friday or Saturday night, or for anniversaries to actually matter. Or just somebody who's willing to watch Twilight with me, ha-ha. No, I'm not crazy for it but it's one of those romantic love stories that somehow has become a staple for every girl...although I am worried that the movie would ruin the book. I really liked the first book, but as for the others....not so sure, haha. But I digress...for real this time.

I know that this is a lot to ask; what kind of boy LIKES to spend money for something that seems unnecessary, and there are not many out there who have a romantic bone in their bodies. For most of the general population, romance has been beaten into their heads since birth instead, and everybody knows that those types of lessons never last. Like I've said before, despite my general practicality, I am still a romantic on the inside. However, I also acknowledge that this is something that is difficult to obtain, that the grass is always greener on the other side, etc.etc. Also, it is college and long distance is another giant obstacle that needs to be overcome.

I want to have my hand held in front of his friends. I want to feel like I'm making a difference in his life, and not only when I'm around. I want to not take him for granted, I don't want to be taken for granted, I want to be secure about everything, I want to forget the past.
But again.



Life is good, I have nothing big to complain about that is either of our faults. Distance is not even that bad, I guess. We get through it. There are many more ups than downs, and nothing is wrong. It's just that sometimes when I sit for too long and my mind wanders, I let myself wish for a little more than I have. I am happy though, and I know that the moment will pass.

However, if I had to say, this is my biggest compromise.

I've loved being home. I like that when the sun is out it actually means it's warm, I like that I can go into the forest or up to the mountains anytime I want, and I also extremely like my car. Oh, my friends too. But maybe I came back for too long. 9 days is long enough for people to get sick of me, and vice versa sometimes as well. While everybody may deny this and say, nobody got sick of anyone! during this week, their body language and attitudes say differently. While they become my first priority, I am shuffled lower and lower down the list, and all of this time managing leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth and my returning insomnia. Other people we know we should see, but forget to call or try to avoid, because after all we're coming back in 2 weeks anyway. This makes me wonder-what type of relationships are these when it's only good when I am 3000 miles away? After not being able to see these people I care about for 3 months, you would think that we would all have a higher tolerance for each other, or at least we would value our time more. But I guess not. Winter break is going to be a trying time, I can already tell.

My flight is in 11 hours, and I guess I am ready to go back to Boston. Sure, I'll miss the sun and what not, but in the end college seems so much more simple. You are who you present yourself to be, not who they've already dissected and observed in the past. Small things are small things, get involved with them as you may wish. Despite the infinite number of creepers, there are still a few people I'd like to see again and missed this week.


Moving on, Boston here I come!
On the bright side, it's not snowing yet.

Okay, so I miss home. That may or may not be because I am pretty much the only one on campus right now and not at some welcome week boat cruise, but nonetheless! I procrastinated getting tickets and then made other plans to explore Boston that fell through because of a ridiculously long dorm meeting and then there were extra tickets but I didn't want to have to rush to get ready because of the aforementioned long meeting. So now I'm sitting at my computer, having watched every person I am possibly acquainted with here walk out to the buses to go on the cruise. OH WELL. I guess staying in for one night isn't like a terrible thing, although tomorrow looks to be kind of slow too...since classes START the next morning!


Something I was thinking about but forgot to blog about during orientation....my parents are WEIRD!! Like they are really absurd people haha. I think as my sister and I have grown up, my parents are allowed to show more personality now and it's kind of weird (my mom more than my dad), although that explains a lot about me and Yas. Case in point, my mom "allowed" my dad to buy a really nice car for his 50th birthday or something, and they came home from the dealership with this really nice 2 door BMW with red leather interior. Now, this thing is sexy, and my parents get in the door and my mom says, "Yeah, I'm driving that." Okay, so my dad is kind of a pushover when it comes to my mom, but yeah. She told us she hates gray and only picked it because of the red. WHAT? Some more examples...(imagine these in broken chinese and just chinese in general)

(while I was taking a survey for freshmen)
me: mom what did I get on the SATs
mom: i don't remember, why?
me: well i need it for this thing
mom: OO make it up and make yourself sound really smart!!

(after I got a flat tire on the way to school)
mom: HAHA the triple A guys' eyes bugged out when I drove up to meet him at your car in the BMW!!
me: ...omg mom.
mom: Yeah he was really impressed and I even flirted with him a little to get the tire change for free
me and my sister: OMG MOM
dad: (quietly eats dinner)

I know there was a moment here in Boston with my dad that when it happened I thought to myself OMG I AM TOTALLY BLOGGING ABOUT THAT IN MY WEIRD PARENTS BLOG but I forgot, so oh well. Maybe next time!


In other news, it's like drugs don't exist at Boston College. The general consensus is like OMG IF YOU DO DRUGS YOURE A TERRIBLE PERSON, and nobody even talks about weed, although I did smell it at like 2 AM last night. At the meeting earlier tonight they made charts on the powerpoint to show penalties for certain things and our 3 strikes rule, and we went over the alcohol chart in GREAT detail, questions afterwards and the whole shebang, and then we completely skipped the chart for the drugs. I guess drug culture is pretty much nonexistent here, which isn't bad but kind of a change, I'd say. I mean this is the weekend before school starts, pretty much the 3rd day and so far, many things have happened already: party busted in the other dorm, party busted on the main campus, girl drank way too much and got alcohol poisoning so the cops and ambulance came, guy arrested and kicked out of the dorms...Go class of 2012!!! HAHA.


Also, relationships are never really what they seem are they? Everything is so fragile and complex, why did we ever have to label them to begin with? Who made up the rules that we're all supposed to follow? Life is too short to be envious, even though it's hard to resist sometimes. I'm satisfied, if not happy, with the way my life is...and that's enough, I guess. How do people change so fast, so easily, so often?

People are leaving. People have been leaving. I am leaving. One of my really good friends moved to San Francisco today...when he pulled up onto my driveway with all his stuff in tow, jumped out of his car and gave me a hug, I really wanted to cry. He has been a colossal component of my past 4 years, and the first person I interact with on a regular basis to leave this tiny town. It's really starting to hit me now, that I will be leaving in approximately 34 hours and also, that I am still helplessly unpacked. Okay, so I procrastinate. Whoops. I didn't get to see a lot of people I wanted to, but this summer I was strangely okay with that. Even from the beginning of senior year, everybody pretty much started drifting in their own random directions, and it's about time too. Life goes on.

(On a separate note, if anybody would like to see a copy of my packing list feel free to ask!)


So with life comes changes right..?

I know, all in all, that I like being in a relationship. Monogamy suits me, for some strange reason. I love having somebody to spoil, I love working hard to make things work, and even though obviously fights are miserable, I like working through it. I can't help it! I guess, despite the cliche or what not, i really love being in love. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to let go? I am not the type that wants to play around and have drunken hookups...I like having somebody to come home to. However, I am also in an extremely transitional period of my life...I am after all only 17 (I know, being young blows.) and who knows what type of person I will be in 4 years, or even in 2 and a half months? Cross my fingers and hope for the best, but forcing something is a bad idea. Going with the flow, letting things go, taking things more lightly. Big picture! I try to remind myself.

If things go well, hopefully I'll come back a really trendy East Coaster that laughs in the face of these little California rains having the time of my life and doing the things I love with the people I love. This includes but is not limited to; joining/making an acapella group, dancing more, deciding on a major, a sweet schedule that means that I don't have class on Friday nor do I have to wake up before 7, new friends AND old friends, and basically just lots and lots of fun. I really hope I make an acapella group.

It's almost goodbye!